Sopranos
Sopranos

Episode Report Card
Aaron: A | 988 USERS: B-
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T Didn't Start The Fire

Livia's house. Tony wanders about in his own flame-retardant robe, searching for the morning paper. Unfortunately, the new maid has tossed it in the trash, which we all know is just about the worst mistake she ever could have made. Oops. Given what happens later, this is also probably supposed to demonstrate that Tony doesn't know yet what happened to Angelo. Knowing that she made a mistake, the maid has also made some enchiladas as a peace offering, and Tony manages to control his rage just long enough to thank her in an almost polite tone of voice.

Cut to Tony, carrying the enchiladas over to Diet Tony's house. Heh. He doesn't even bother to say hello when DT opens the door, but just hands over the tray and heads inside. He also demands his money, claiming that he needs to collect directly from Diet Tony because Carmela is watching Tony's finances. Uh huh. Diet Tony sees right through that excuse, asking if Fat Tony is still planning to buy a "wave-runner." "I'm moving to the Plaza," he explains. "That fucking house is falling down around my ears." Then he bitches about his maid for like six million billon hours. "So fire her and get a new one," suggests Diet Tony. Fat Tony: "This is the new one." He slumps down in a nearby armchair (in an unconscious imitation of his body language in Melfi's office) and starts reciting a litany of woes, beginning with the fact that he's spent the last few nights in the burn ward with Valentina. "She's laying [sic] there like a rag doll," he complains. "And that smell, that burning hair smell. I can still smell it." Diet Tony, however, doesn't even seem to be paying attention, as he grumpily sorts through the detritus of toys and comic books that his kids have left scattered all over the living room. He also looks like he can't wait for Fat Tony to shut up and get the hell out of there, so it's not much of a surprise when FT leans back and asks for a "Coke or something." Too lazy to get it himself, Diet Tony calls out for his mother to bring the beverages. She's upstairs, however, and so Diet Tony's forced to holler for the kids to come up and fetch the annoying visitor a carbonated refreshment. "Are you all right?" wonders Fat Tony. "I just got the kids up my ass, that's all," answers Diet Tony, without also mentioning that he's moments away from going on a murderous rampage. This scene makes a lot more sense on the second viewing, by the way. Tony's still not done chatting, though. "You come across any burn victims in that hospital in the can?" he asks. "Sure," replies Diet Tony. "Aryan guys are always setting each other on fire." Hee!

Sopranos

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