Tony whines some more about Valentina, calling her "a constant pain in [his] ass," and asserting that he was planning to break up with her that very evening. "Why the fuck does this shit always happen to me?" he wonders, raising a Spock-like eyebrow on Diet Tony's face. And it's only about to get worse. "You know who I've been thinking about lately?" he asks. "Charmaine Bucco...she's a fantastic cook. She's better than Artie in some ways." Hmm. Are there ways in which it's possible to NOT be better than Artie? "Plus she's a licensed notary public," he adds, like it's equivalent to winning the Nobel Prize or possessing the ability to tuck her legs behind her head. A lot of the people I work with are notaries, and even though most of them hated this episode, they all loved that line. "I'm thinking this is the kind of woman I need," Tony adds, which I guess explains why we've been getting all those high school references this season. "I mean, it almost worked between me and her, right?" Before I can fully recoil in horror from the mental image of Tony and Charmaine having sex that I didn't know at this point would be made a thousand times worse and included in the episode for real, the Blunder Twins wander into the room, and Diet Tony starts chewing them out. Finally recognizing his cue, Fat Tony leaves without ever getting that Coke he asked for, and Diet Tony just shrugs and goes back about his business.
A low-angle shot of the horse-drawn carriages that ply the roads around Central Park leads us to the sight of Tony, arriving at the Plaza Hotel in his own Cadillac carriage. "The Lawrence wedding?" asks a valet. "No," replies Tony. "I'm actually here for an affair. The Singleman party." Just kidding. Instead, he simply asks the guy to shut up and park the car. "Long term or short term?" asks the valet. "Can't you just park it?" gripes Tony, which pretty much answers the valet's question anyway. Tony hops out of the car, and hands over a tip, asking the guy to keep the car out of the "horse shit" nearby. Then he heads inside, accompanied by the mellow stylings of the Plaza's regular harp player. Apparently Miss Lawrence is marrying our old friend Foreshadowing, because Tony wanders past a group of bridesmaids getting their pictures taken in the lobby. He finally ambles his way over to the check-in desk, where he's told that even though he's paying cash, they'll still need to see a credit card. He hands one over, and while the clerk is scanning it, Tony looks up just in time to see Melfi come through the door, laughing and telling someone named "Jill" that whatever she just said was really funny. Dammit. Now I really want to know who "Jill" is supposed to be, because I'm assuming it's not Jilly Ruffalo. The clerk hands the card back, thanking "Mr. Petraglia" for his business, and Tony looks massively relieved that Melfi didn't come over and blow his cover. Although, what's up with "Petraglia"? What ever happened to Mr. Spears?