The Test Dream

Episode Report Card
Aaron: A | 1 USERS: A+
T Didn't Start The Fire

Tony next heads up to the room, where he checks the view and thanks the bellman for his help. The bellman's name, by the way? Jesus. It's definitely not actually Jesus Rossi, though. The bellman leaves, and Tony makes himself at home, which he largely accomplishes by putting out pictures of his kids. Then he takes a shower, and relaxes on the bed in his robe.

After a few moments of silent contemplation, he pulls out the phone and dials up Charmaine Bucco. She answers, but he doesn't say anything, so she just assumes that it's a prank call and hangs up. Does no one have Caller ID in the Sopranos universe? This leads into an extended Kubrickian montage of Tony "Robe 9000" Soprano eating dinner and looking bored as he's isolated in the suite. It culminates with him perched on the edge of the bed, flipping through the channels on TV while the flaps of his robe come dangerously close to sliding apart. Oy. For the love of God, my friend, DO NOT open the pod bay doors. Another click of the remote brings him to an ad for the "Jade Escort Service," which offers to introduce customers to the "gentle pleasures and mysterious ways of the East." How is it that I can get a high definition DVR out here in Pittsburgh, but I can't get the Hooker Channel? Man, I'd never have to leave the house. Tony gives a quick "Why not?" shrug, and then picks up the phone to call. Heh. I hope he actually manages to talk this time, although I'm sure the girls at Jade are used to hearing heavy breathing.

Fade to later, as Tony wheels his room-service tray out into the hall. He's still got the robe on, and he notices a fresh copy of the New York Times laid out next to a pair of shoes by a neighboring door. Tony being Tony, he quickly scampers over and steals the paper before bolting back into the room. We've already discussed the significance of newspapers, so this time I'll just tell you to see this show's eternal and inexplicable shoe fetish. I wonder if David Chase dreams about Imelda Marcos and Chuck Jones? Oh, and here's a fun little tidbit: When Googling for "Trump Shoe Stalker" half the hits on the first page come from "stalkers" on our very own forums discussing The Apprentice. Hee hee!

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