PS: Love the headline.
Although director Jack Bender decides to eschew the Ironic Segue Fairy here by not cutting us directly to an image of a toilet, we nevertheless now find ourselves in the Sacks' master bathroom, where Ginny is climbing on a scale to weigh herself. Trivia buffs take note: She clocks in at about 250 pounds. After noting the results on a little steno pad, she muses for a moment about whether or not to include this particular variable in the episode grading formulas before hearing a sound from downstairs. Upon investigation, she discovers her bloodied and boozy husband returning home from his adventurous night on the town. Questions abound, but Johnny fobs them off with a story about tripping on some stairs. "Jesus, what is this, the inquisition now?" he asks, seeming surprised. Well, of course he's surprised. Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition. He tenderly advises her to get some sleep, and the scene ends with Ginny giving her own personal version of the famous conflicted My Husband Is An Evil, Evil Man, But He's Nice To Me And Buys Me Expensive Stuff, So What's A Girl To Do? look.
Aaron: And now for something completely different.
David Chase: Huh?
Aaron: Well, I've officially run out of shows with opening monologues, and that one from Firefly is so suck-ass that I can't even make fun of it, so I just figured it was time for something different.
David Chase: Um, you do realize that I have no fucking clue what you're talking about, right?
Aaron: What do you mean?
David Chase: Then again, I pretty much never have any clue what you're talking about.
Aaron: You know, I'm not really feeling the love here, Dave.
David Chase: Sigh. I liked this better last season when we had cool guest stars.
Maison de Soprano. It seems that Carmela's investment counseling cousin Brian has escaped from whatever dropped subplot cell the FBI has been holding him in along with Adriana, Gloria, Ray Curto, and Jesus Rossi. He's in the living room, recommending that they invest in an insurance trust, failing to get Tony's jokes about purchasing classic cars as a "growth-oriented reallocation of [their] assets," and generally just reminding me way too much of the overly enthusiastic, jargon-spouting salespeople I work with every day. As Alan Ball would say, "Don't over-close. It kills the word of mouth." Tony's demeanor during the scene, however, makes it clear that Brian was never going to make a sale in the first place, and that's confirmed when Tony espouses a desire to talk things over with his accountant. To his credit, the actor playing Brian does an excellent job of looking like he can't decide whether to be sad he's lost a big commission or relieved that he won't be laundering money for the Mafia. Meanwhile, the phone starts ringing, and AJ hollers down from upstairs that "Uncle Sil" is calling. After he grabs the kitchen extension and hollers back for AJ to hang up, we're treated to a one-sided conversation where Tony basically says, "He did what?!?"