The Weight

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B+ | 1 USERS: A-
The Weight

And just for the record, use of the phrase "driving up the guy's ass like that" does not make me a homophobe.

Carmine's restaurant. Joey, Tony, and Johnny Sack make small talk about traffic until we hear a toilet flushing in the background. Carmine steps out of the bathroom, and they all gather around a small table for the sit-down. The putative topic of record is Joey's alleged embezzlement from the Esplanade, but before the guy can say even three words on the subject, Johnny Sack jumps up to walk out. Everyone tries to convince him to stay, but he refuses to be reasonable. I'd spend more time recapping this stuff, but the same thing happens, like, three scenes in a row, so we've got some time to talk about it.

Meanwhile, the hideous sweater has changed into an equally nasty pair of overalls, and they now appear also to belong to Boggie's daughter Saskia. They walk across campus and discuss Jason Melfi, but nothing really interesting happens. I'll just assume they needed an excuse for Boggie to be in the garage with Tony, and leave it at that. Incidentally, notice how I've said nothing about the physical appearance of this particular character. Notice also how this lack of detail detracts from the recap-reading experience, especially for those who haven't seen the episode in question. Now ask yourself why mocking this character's admittedly androgynous appearance is any different from mocking the physicality of any other character on TV. Then go and read our forums, and observe how even well-meaning attempts at enforcing political correctness will quickly lead to ludicrous accusations of homophobia and "Pat"-bashing. It's like mom always said: "If you can't say anything mean and catty, then don't say anything at all."

Chez Soprano. In what would have been this week's requisite robe scene, Tony comes downstairs to find Carmela working a calculator in the kitchen. I say "would have been" because this episode is actually shockingly robe-free. StR=3,425 and rising. Fortunately, it only counts as seven percent of their final show grade. But don't let it happen again, David. After a bit of crumb-cake related business to reinforce Tony's own weight issues, he joins her at the table for a frank and honest discussion of the family's financial situation. "Maybe you don't care about our future, Tony, but I do," snipes Carmela. "Where do you get that I don't care?" replies Tony. "I met with your cousin." "Yeah, you met with Brian. You sat there eating cake and making wisecracks." Ahh, the life of a recapper. It's fun, isn't it? Carmela doesn't think so. In fact, she even starts crying. "When you ignore me, Tony," she says, "when you trivialize things that are important to me -- like this family's financial security -- it makes me feel unloved." Perhaps forgetting for a moment that he's talking to his wife instead of his mother, Tony spits back, "Well, that's your problem right there, because you equate love with money." "YOU equate love with money," shouts Carmela, and as Tony realizes that she's right, we end the scene with one of the show's patented Kitchen-Table Wide Shots Of Familial Dysfunction.

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