Das Sopranohaus. Carmela strides in, laden with gifts and purchases. Tony, however, is still zonked out on the bed. Carmela passive-aggressives a storm of noise, and Tony finally jerks awake. Of course, men sometimes being how they are in the mornings, the first thing he grabs is his log (and while not quite reaching "cheese & strippers" levels of hilarity, log jokes like that will never cease to amuse me). Actually, the notebook contains his Christmas to-do list, including items such as: "Boat" (checked off), "Transfer cannolis," "Gift for Carm," and "Scooter." I'm open for theories on that last one, by the way. As long as your theory isn't that "scooter" is some sort of racial slur, that is. Anyway, Tony finally manages to sit up, but then for no discernible reason he begins having a panic attack. He huffs and puffs, and blows himself right back down onto the bed, just as Carmela enters. She's totally oblivious to his plight as she runs down a list of all the Christmas-related errands in her own log. One of them is getting "the digital video for Meadow," which is probably a nice, subtle product-placement for the Wernick site, but hasn't she been filing videos there for like three months now? Carmela continues running down her list of gripes, not the least of which is that Janice wants to cook dinner on Christmas night, because Carmela is cooking for Christmas Eve. "Do you really want to turn her loose on shellfish?" she asks, and all I can say is "Ha!" to all the people (well, okay, just the one person) who mocked me when I asked which ethnic group served turtle for the holidays. Janice also volunteered Carmela to help her cook this meal, which Tony doesn't care about at all until he learns that he has to go over there to fix a broken fuse-box. "But I'm busy!" he whines, lolling about on the bed in his pajamas.
Kris Kringle: I don't know. Also, ho ho ho. And it's your show, but he doesn't look that busy to me.
David Chase: What do you know from busy? You work, like, one day a year.
Kris Kringle: Uh, hello? Have you seen the latest census figures? There's a lot friggin' kids out there. Plus they're all over the damn place. I'm thinking of trading in Rudolph for one of those new GPS models.
David Chase: Now see, that's exactly my point. In the gift-giving system, the children are represented by two separate, yet equal groups. The elves that make the toys, and the reindeer that deliver them. All you do is fall down the chimney, and yet all the stories are about you.