Sopranos
Toodle-Fucking-Oo

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Pamie: A | Grade It Now!
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Meet Richie Aprile

We open with Tony driving at night. He's pulling up to a street with commotion. There are police and ambulances and wandering teenagers. Kids are yelling at Tony through his windshield. He avoids them and keeps looking towards the homes. He recognizes Hunter and asks her where Meadow is. She answers, "I give up. In the house?" Tony gets out of the car, pissed as hell. Cops are arresting kids and throwing them into patrol cars. A police officer walks up to Tony. They know each other. Tony thanks him for calling him. The officer said he called as soon as he found out it was Livia's house. A kid gets wheeled past on a gurney. The officer explains that the kid OD'd on Special K and Ecstasy. The officer tells Tony that Meadow is fine, but she's a little drunk.

Inside the house, Tony sees more kids getting arrested. The house is a wreck. There are candles lit everywhere, since the house probably doesn't have electricity. Tony walks to the kitchen, where he finds Meadow standing over a puking girl. Meadow whines that it wasn't her fault. Tony says that if he had a nickel for every time she said that, he'd have his own jet. He tells her to get in the car. He yanks her by the arm, leaving the puking girl to keep puking in a bucket.

Tony says he can't believe Meadow threw a party in her grandmother's house. Meadow sasses that Tony's the one repeating things now. Meadow smirks at her friend. Tony says that Meadow's lucky that he knew the cop. "Let me guess, he owes you money?" Meadow drones. I'd be so smacked for saying that.

AJ and Carmela wait in their PJs inside the house. As the car pulls up, Carmela tells AJ to get to bed. "No way, I wanna see the fight," AJ says. Carmela screams for AJ to get his "little butt" upstairs. I love these AJ years, before he was with all the booze and the cops and shit. Meadow staggers into the house and walks up the stairs, telling Carmela that they can talk about it in the morning. Carmela isn't accepting that answer and tells Meadow to get downstairs. Tony says she should sleep, and Carmela yells that she wants Meadow to answer some questions. Carmela asks if Meadow drove home that drunk. "I could've taken Ecstasy but I didn't!" Meadow moans, and runs up the stairs. AJ yells after her, "Don't puke on the floor!" Tony tells AJ to get to bed. "She fools around with Ecstasy and you yell at me?" AJ brats. "Get up there!" Carmela screams, and AJ runs upstairs. Carmela asks Tony what Meadow had to say for herself. Tony says, "The usual." Carmela harps that there were "designer drugs" there. Tony says that he yelled. "What the fuck else was I going to do?" My parents would have made me walk home to get a beating, but that's just one suggestion. Tony stuffs men in trunks to wait for their balls to get cut off, and he doesn't have any idea how to ground a bratty teen? My dad is the Tony Soprano of parenting.

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Sopranos

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