Later that night, Vinnie Delpino is driving Tony home. Ever the opportunistic nebbish, Tony takes advantage of this situation to pry for details about Carmela's home life. Needless to say, he's delighted to hear that Carmela's only visitor is Rosalie Aprile (whom I hope we see very soon) and that most of the phone calls are for his little stud AJ (I could live without Devon, though).
And then we cut to what is obviously a dream sequence, as an unidentified couple has surprisingly tender sex in a darkened bedroom. A slow pan up to their faces reveals that it's Tony and Melfi, and I've got to say that Lorraine Bracco looks pretty damn good with her clothes off. Maybe I won't fast-forward through that Fisher Stevens scene, after all. The big shocking reveal here, of course, is that it's Melfi having the sex dream and not Tony, although if you've seen Hackers as many times as I have, it's not really shocking at all. Then again, if you've seen Hackers as many times as I have, I'd imagine you find pretty much anything at all having to do with sex to be shocking.
Melfi's office. Tony has arrived for the appointment he scheduled earlier, and his outfit in this scene just completely defies description. I'm sure he thinks he looks like a million bucks, but what he's actually wearing is shit-brown slacks, a beige shirt, a gray seersucker jacket, and a pale blue tie (with matching pocket square). I know I used this joke in the recaplet, but it really does look like he borrowed the outfit from a local clown college. Melfi gestures for him to take his usual seat but, for the moment at least, Tony insists on standing. "The real reason I'm here," he explains, "is to confront you in a positive way about taking our relationship in that...other direction." "Confront you in a positive way"? The hell? Is that a line from The Prince of Tides? He goes on to confess that he's been watching Dr. Phil, who said that psychiatrists can date former patients if they want, so he really thinks they should give it a shot. He finally moves to sit down, but makes a point of going over to the couch, and avoiding his usual chair. "This is the place where we've always been the most honest with each other," he continues, "and that's the way I always liked it. So that being said, if you don't like me personally, the cut of my jib, or my face, or whatever, then the matter will end here, and I will never ask you again." Wow. Dr. Phil? "Cut of my jib"? And I thought things were bad with Furio last season. But with Tony somehow, the lovelorn thing is more cute than wussy. Probably because I know it'll never last.