Christopher's apartment. Chris is on the sofa, reading My Search For Bill W., which is presumably a book about alcoholism and addiction. He gets a call from Paulie, who wants to commiserate about how "fucked up" it was that they had to kill the waiter. This scene does, incidentally, get bonus points for giving us the season's first usage of everyone's favorite catchphrase: "What are you gonna do?" "Let's bury the hatchet, you and me," offers Paulie. "All this bullshit with us. Life's too short to spend it fighting with your friends." Aww. Isn't that sweet? Of course, he then has to go and ruin it by adding, "Look what could've happened last night. One of us could have gotten hurt, or even killed, for Christ's sake!" Um, killed by what, exactly? Flying spittle? Bad shrimp cocktail? Poisoned hair gel? I guess the point here is that these two patch things up, and exchange heartfelt apologies. I doubt it'll last, but it was still oddly touching.
Melfi's office. There's some sort of group therapy going on, and not only has continuity returned in the form of a short skirt for Melfi, but once again her other patients are being played for goofy laughs. If this show ever decides to do a spin-off, I'd love to see what life is like around this office all day. As the session ends and everyone files out, Melfi is shocked to find Tony waiting for her out in the lobby. This time he's decided to ply her with tickets to Bermuda, claiming that a friend had them and couldn't use them. In fact, he makes that particular claim about eight times in thirty seconds, with his voice getting higher and his nose getting longer with every single instance. "I turned down a wonderful dinner invitation," she replies, "and you think I'll go away with you." "Come on, I'm breaking out the big guns here," he whines. "You're turning me into half a stalker." Oh, please. That's not even like three tenths of a stalker. Trust me. I know. Melfi tries one last time to explain emphatically that she's not going to go out with Tony, mostly by saying that it's just something she doesn't want to do for her own personal reasons, and also because she wants to preserve his own options for returning to therapy. He begs her to help him understand, because the last fifteen times she explained it apparently weren't clear enough. Or maybe they weren't fraught enough with dramatic tension, because this time Melfi breaks out the big guns of her own: "You know, Anthony, during therapy I never judged you or your behavior. It's not the place of a therapist to do so. In a personal relationship, I don't think I could sit silent. Our values are just very different." Tony is somewhat offended that she doesn't like his values, but he does still ask her to elaborate, and even makes a point of assuring her that he's not going to whack her for answering honestly. "You're not a truthful person," she begins, which earns a shy, guilty shrug from Tony. "You're not respectful of women. You're not respectful of people...you take what you want from them through force, or the threat of force. I couldn't live like that. I couldn't bear witness to violence." Which, I suppose is precisely the difference between Carmela and Melfi. They both admit they want Tony, and they both refuse to admit they want the trappings that come with him, but Melfi isn't willing to turn a blind eye to get it. Carmela was, and probably would be again if Tony ever bothered to ask nicely. But that's a discussion for another episode. In this episode, Tony scream "Fuck!" and storms out of the office. Then he slams the door, and just for good measure yells, "You're a fucking cunt!" I bothered to throw in that last one as reminder to everyone that they don't need to spoiler-tag curse words in the forums.