For the purposes of an upcoming remark, it's important for you to know that I took a break and drove home from work between these two paragraphs.
Tony heads out back to look around, and he's soon joined by Carmela. He's pissed that she called the cops instead of him, noting that "this isn't Little House on the Fucking Prairie," and that bears can be very dangerous. Heh. Kim will be subbing for me on this show in a couple of weeks, so that Little House bit was definitely a shout-out to her. Incidentally, the Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV This Week was the Pitt basketball game I'm watching right now in my TV's picture-in-picture window. Assuming they hold the lead, of course. "The ranger, or whatever, said it was your duck food out there that attracted it," explains Carmela, who, like me, also doesn't know what to call a Fish & Game specialist. "I never heard of that happening," replies an offended Tony. Carmela just rolls her eyes and mutters, "Trapper Joe, over here." Heh. And yet another Joe. Hmm. What could that mean?
Cut to later, with Tony and Ranger Rick emerging from some woods in the yard. "We didn't find the spoor," shouts Tony, who's never afraid to turn a family crisis into an opportunity to learn a new vocabulary word that can he misuse at a later date. And for those of you in the forums who are still speculating on what the bear is supposed to represent, I don't think you need to look any further than the following exchange of dialogue:
Ranger Rick: The animal still doesn't meet the parameters for removal.
Tony: So when somebody's leg is gone....
Hee hee. Get it? Do you? Are you sure? Because I could link you back to Svetlana and the ensuing "animal removal" if you really want me to. But I'd much rather you stick around, because Edie Falco's facial expression in response to that line is probably going to be enough all by itself to win her the Emmy again this year. It's a perfect blend of winking at the joke and yet not even really acknowledging it at all. Ranger Rick apologizes again that there's nothing else he can do, and then smiles at Carmela just a beat too long before leaving. This prompts Tony to stop him and make a big extravagant show of offering a hundred-dollar tip so they can buy "new lanyards for [their] whistles." Hee! It seems evident that Rick knows exactly whom he's talking to, but he still plays it pretty cool and refuses to accept the money. A clearly frustrated Tony returns to his wife and kid and promptly observes that "Ranger Rick's a little light in the Timberlands, huh?" Heh. "Everyone's always gay with you," snarks Carmela. "He's a good-looking guy, that's all. It's not my fault things get damp and aromatic every time he comes around."