Sopranos
Two Tonys

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B+ | Grade It Now!
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A Little Less Conversation...

Melfi's office. She checks her answering machine, and finds a message from Tony, asking to come back to therapy. She looks pensive. Or possibly constipated. Either reaction would be understandable, don't you think?

Yay! Uncle Junior! Yay! Bobby and our new friend Feech are over at Junior's place, getting ready to sit down for dinner. Robert Loggia, by the way, is cooking in a tank-top undershirt, and it was right at this point that I really began to lament the lack of robes in this episode. After some chit-chat about shaved vaginas and Bobby's weight problem, everyone heads to the table to eat. Now, am I the only one who thinks there's something funny about the way Robert Loggia looks now? I mean, I love the voice, it's an all-time classic, but he just looks so...puffy, I think is the word. It's like he's got too much skin or something, and I'm finding it very distracting. Admittedly, that really isn't much of a problem at the moment, because he's regaling Junior and Bobby with a painfully boring story about how he proved his manhood in jail by starting a fight right on the very first day. Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Unless you shivved, pragged, orally circumcised, or tattooed the guy, I'm not going to be impressed. And even then, I've seen it all before. The story is interrupted by the arrival of Tony, who cheerfully greets the new guy and immediately comments on his tan. Foreshadowing? You be the judge. Feech resumes the story, which features a climax containing more "motherfuckers" than an entire Nate Fisher sentence, and then slowly broaches the subject of the real reason he wanted to talk with Tony and Junior. "Now that I'm out," he says, "I'd like to get back in the game." Tony doesn't exactly look thrilled to hear this, but he does concede that it would be okay, as long as Feech doesn't "step on anybody's toes." "Me?" replies Feech incredulously. "I'm Fred Astaire!" Heh. Okay, this one can stay. Mostly because I like saying "Feech." Junior mentions that he heard about Tony's bear problem, and there's a cute moment when Bobby fails miserably at trying to lie and say he didn't tell anyone. And then Tony gets embarrassed when he has to admit again to the boys that he and Carmela are separated, and with that, the scene ends.

Cut to Christopher and Adrianna's place, where Adrianna is ironing in a teensy little halter top while also smoking a cigarette. Damn. Now that's sexy. Uncomfortable, and probably a severe risk for a wide variety of third-degree burns or small structure fires, but sexy nevertheless. Christopher is prepping for a night on the town, which involves putting on a suit jacket and raiding his girlfriend's purse for extra cash. He's the "low man" tonight, which means he has to pay for everyone. And in a nice, proto-Carmela bit of characterization, Adrianna is more than a little suspicious that it will be more than just "the guys" tonight. She's right, but more on that later. "This is fucking ridiculous," she says, as he pulls $400 out of her wallet, "Why should you get stuck all the time?" Christopher explains that these are the rules, but Adrianna reminds him that he stepped up when Paulie was in jail: "If you get the extra responsibilities, you should get the benefits, too." "You're right," agrees Chris, as he kisses her goodbye. And that's the last we'll see of Adrianna tonight, so I'm going to take one last drag of my cigarette and go spray some starch on my dress shirts. I'll be right back.

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Sopranos

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