Two Tonys

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B+ | Grade It Now!
A Little Less Conversation...

Feech: It's the moss.
Chris's Goomar: They attack when you're having your period, too.
Tony: No, that's jungle cats.

Hee! Everyone gets up to leave, and just as Paulie reluctantly starts counting out some cash, Chris returns from the bathroom and tries to pick up the check. Paulie, however, refuses. "Enough," he snarls. "It's done."

So cut to the next day, with Christopher enjoying a cup of coffee outside of Satriale's. Paulie screeches to halt right in front of him in the car that was never explained after that Russian-related plot hole that David Chase really wants you to stop bitching about, and demands that Chris pay him back the $860 he spent on everyone's dinner. Chris reluctantly agrees, and Paulie screeches off once again. I guess they don't have Meineke in Russia.

Elsewhere, Tony is lunching at a golf course with Carmine, Johnny Sack, and New Guy #2, Angelo Garepe. Tony, Johnny, and Angelo crack jokes about golf and prison, but Carmine seems to be very, very out of it. He mumbles something about the gherkins in his egg salad, and then asks if anyone else smells burning hair. "I smell cut grass," replies Johnny, after taking a big whiff. Oy. I needed to go down two Claritin just from watching that. Johnny brings up Steve Buscemi's imminent return, and Angelo gets a really badly dubbed line about how Steve was his best buddy in the joint. I'd be very curious to know what Joe Santos actually said there, because I can only read his lips enough to know that it wasn't whatever we heard him say. No one else seems too curious about it, however -- probably because they're all distracted by the stroke Carmine just had. The old guy slumps out his chair and falls to the ground, but not before giving us a good look at the glop of half-chewed egg salad in his mouth. No, Carmine. I did NOT order the seafood.

Down in Florida, Little Carmine is lounging in the pool when the phone rings. It's Johnny Sack, calling to tell him about the stroke, and Little Carmine seems genuinely saddened by the news. He promises to be on the next plane, and then hangs up immediately. Back in New Jersey, Johnny hangs up as well, and then lights up a cigarette right in the hospital waiting room. Man, it really is good to be the king. He turns to Tony, and quickly gets down to business. "You know, I haven't forgotten our arrangement last year," he says, referring to their aborted plan to kill Carmine. "You leaving me in the lurch like that." "What do you want?" answers Tony. "An apology? A fuckin' Whitman's Sampler?" Heh. Although Johnny seems more like the Godiva type, now that I think about it, even though it's undoubtedly a safe bet that Ginny makes all the candy-related decisions in that family. Johnny is still peeved, but he's also pragmatic enough to realize that this stroke has probably rendered the point moot, and done their work for them in a much better fashion. "Boy, imagine if his fucking speech is affected," he sighs. Tony leans back and silently marvels at how cold his colleague can be.

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