Two Tonys

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B+ | Grade It Now!
A Little Less Conversation...

Melfi gently explains that she does, in fact, like the cut of his jib, but nevertheless demands to know why Tony has suddenly decided to fall in love with her. "My training teaches me to go fairly quickly to the idea that what you really want is to come back to therapy," she explains, which is probably true, but still misses the point that he wanted to fuck her even when they were in therapy. Which is why I'm sort of surprised that the costume department broke with continuity here and gave Melfi a skirt that goes below the knee. Unless maybe we're meant to think that she made a conscious decision not to dress provocatively for this session. "I want you," insists Tony. "And not just for the smart things you say. I want your skin. I want your mouth. I want your eyes." I was actually surprised that there weren't a lot of women in the forums swooning over that line, especially when I remembered how many were finding themselves a little damp and aromatic at the sight of Tony driving a bulldozer last year. I guess you all only find him sexy when he's burying a guy he just beheaded. But don't worry. I personally only like to stalk fictional TV redheads, so I'm not going to judge you for it. Melfi continues with some psychobabble about this being a normal occurrence between doctor and patient, but Tony interrupts her by planting a kiss right on her lips. She doesn't kiss back, but she doesn't really pull away, either. When Tony finally breaks the liplock, however, she whispers a very forceful "Don't do that." Tony's face instantly goes cold, and he steps back. "Forget about the way Tony Soprano makes his way in the world," he says, "That's just to feed his children. There's two Tony Sopranos. You've never seen the other one. That's the one I want to show you." And with that, he leaves, and Melfi breathes a huge sigh of relief.

Casa de Soprano. Little Paulie is now on Snuggle duty, only he gets frightened by a noise in the bushes and immediately runs inside to hide in the bathroom. Heh. The Paulies are definitely indoor cats.

Dr. Boggie's office. Melfi is therapy herself, giving Doc Bogdanovich the rundown on everything that happened with Tony. As usual, he's completely unsympathetic and unable to hide his hatred for Tony. "I don't want to paint in somber tones here," he begins, "but the man is a sociopath. Unpracticed in not getting what he wants." You'll note, by the way, that Dr. Boggie is not unable to correctly express himself while using a double negative, whereas Dr. Tony was not untroubled by the same syntax. "Now that the therapy is kaput," he continues, "what use are you to him except for sex?" Damn. That's cold. "Your depth of feeling is really quite extraordinary," replies Melfi. He calls her out for only being able to come up with a weak excuse for why she couldn't date Tony, and Melfi does eventually admit that there is "a mutual sympathy there, of some kind." "Maybe it's just the Italian thing," he offers, and that may be the smartest thing he's ever said.

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