Sopranos
Sopranos

Episode Report Card
Aaron: A+ | 609 USERS: B
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Walk On The Wide Side

A few hours later, Finn is taking a leak in one of the porta-potties on the site. Then he zips up and opens the door to find Wide Guy standing there waiting for him. Heh. Now Wide Guy will always be Wide Guy to me, but for one week only, I'm going to respect the fact that this episode generated more posts to the nickname thread than any other in history, and credit all you creative kids out there with a few well-deserved TMs. So, to that end, Wide Gay (tm Chico1002) gleefully observes that Finn "sounded like a race horse pissing in there." Heh. Come-on, or threat? You be the judge. Then he asks Finn's last name, which is DeTrolio. "Finn DeTrolio," laughs Vito Corleblown (tm the appropriately-named Cannoli Lover), "my arch-nemesis." Finn doesn't know what to make of that, and gets even more scared when The Goodfellator (tm Luban) praises his work ethic and the fact that he comes in so early. "You're strong," Wide Bi Guy (tm unknown -- email me and I'll get you next week) adds. "That's good." He also lets his eyes run up and down Finn's body on that line, causing Finn to give an extra little shudder. "You know you can call me [Viblow], right?" he asks (tm Navin). "So let me hear you say it. Let me hear you say, 'What's up, [Rodfather]?'" (tm unknown again). Finn reluctantly complies, and does indeed ask his arch-nemesis what's up. "Not much," is the answer. "Except I got a little surprise for you. Two tickets to see your Padres take a beating from the Yankees." Hmm. Perhaps not the surprise Finn was expecting. Although I'm sure I can't be the only one who thinks the operative words in that sentence were "take a beating." Oh, but wait, there's more! It's also bat night. Hee hee. Now that's an interesting mental image. Finn tries to weasel out of going with a lame excuse, but Wide Gay isn't willing to take no for an answer. "Don't pull that 'aw, shucks' shit with me," he growls. "You're fucking going." Paulie's arrival at the site cuts this conversation short, but Wide Bi Guy has one last warning: "I'll see you under the bat tonight, 7 sharp. And I don't like to miss the national anthem." Well of course he doesn't. If this scene has taught us anything, it's that you never know what you might see by the dawn's early light.

Cut to Finn, watching the game on the TV in his apartment. Meadow can't believe he didn't want to go to the stadium, especially because Finn loves baseball so much. "I don't like the guy, all right?" he explains. Oh, please. Everyone loves Wide Guy. Some more than others to be sure, but everyone still loves him. "Oh, I get it," snarks Meadow. "Dr. DeTrolio can't hang with the common folk." Shut up, Meadow. That's the last straw for Finn, and he decides to try going with the truth instead: "He came on to me, all right? Either that or he wants to kill me." Oh, Finn. Everyone's always gay with you. You know what? Maybe you're gay. You ever think of that? Um...yeah. Sometimes I forget they can't hear me. Meadow can't believe what she's hearing herself, especially because Wide Guy is supposedly a happily married man. "I seriously doubt he wants to kill you," she adds. "Well, maybe he wants to fuck me and then kill me," replies Finn. Heh. And personally, I think Wide Guy would have been fine with either outcome. Hell, I think he might have even taken Finn's word that he would keep his mouth shut. Er, so to speak. But by not even showing up for the game, Finn has pretty much sealed his death warrant at this point. Unless, of course, he can think of a clever way out this situation. Let's see what happens, shall we?

Sopranos

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