Little Carmine, meanwhile, has gathered his crew for a cabinet meeting in an undisclosed location that's presumably somewhere in his house on LONG ISLAND. So please, stop emailing me. "The point I am trying to illustrate," opens Little Carmine, "is that, of course no one wants all-out conflict, but historically, historical changes have come out of war." Hee hee. Frankie Valli eggs him on, calling it "a new day" and declaring that "all old treaties and ways of doing things are null and void." Angelo, however, is more concerned about the potential backlash from the Joey Peeps hit. "When you've had a quadruple bypass like I did," replies Frankie, "it gives you a lot of time to think." Huh? That statement is completely irrelevant and has nothing whatsoever to do with the question Angelo just asked him, but the reasoning behind mentioning the bypass will become apparent in just a few brief moments. Angelo isn't exactly persuaded by this non sequitur, and wistfully sighs that they should have had a sit-down with all the other captains. "This isn't the UN," replies Carmine. "I won't let what happened to my father happen to me." So does that mean he'll be avoiding gherkins? Because I've heard they can cause strokes. Frankie, meanwhile, strokes Carmine by calling him a "stronger man" than his dad, and Little Carmine's response is such a gem that it simply must be transcribed in its entirety: "The fundamental question is, will I be as effective as a boss like my dad was? And I will be, even more so. But until I am, it's going to be hard to verify that I think I'm more effective." Bwah! Now that's a classic. And by the way, yes, David, we get it. Little Carmine is obviously intended to echo our syntactically-challenged, paternally-obsessed President, and Frankie Valli is Dick Cheney, and Angelo is Colin Powell, and that greasy-looking guy with the pony tail is presumably the illicit, uber-hawk love spawn of Donald Rumsfeld and Condoleezza Rice, and the bear is Saddam Hussein, and New Jersey is Najaf, and the Giant Wooden Indian is John Kerry, and AJ's eyebrows are the working man, and Wide Guy is Monica Lewinsky, and I'm fairly certain that one part where Finn pisses into the camera for five minutes straight was really nothing more than a thinly-veiled allegory about federal corruption and the Tennessee Valley Authority. Nevertheless, great fucking scene.
Episode Report CardAaron: A+ | 609 USERS: B
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