Unidentified Black Males

Episode Report Card
Aaron: A+ | 1 USERS: A
Walk On The Wide Side

Outside, the kids mill around under the shadow of -- I kid you not -- a giant plastic cow that's been mounted over the restaurant's door. And with that, the location scouts have officially overtaken the background video clip-pickers as my new all-time favorite Sopranos production department. Plus it's also good to know that the giant Indian will now be able to enjoy a nice, juicy, giant hamburger while drinking his giant bottle of beer. Tony finally emerges, and pulls Finn off to one side. He apologizes for "biting [his] head off," and adds that he thinks Finn is a good kid and that he "respects his trying." As for me, I respect the giant cow. Mooooooooooo!

"And then he fell asleep right after," gossips Carmela to Mrs. Little Stevie. Heh. She also reveals that Tony called and sent flowers after he did the walk of shame out of their bedroom last week. Which was sweet, but not as sweet as the diamonds he usually sends after a one-night stand. Mrs. Little Stevie asks if Carmela thinks Tony might want to get back together, and while Carmela's mouth may say "this is the last thing [she needs] to get into right now," her eyes practically scream, "Please God, yes!" In fact, Tony will be dropping AJ off at any moment, and Carmela is all set to discuss things with him. Ever the refined, consummately dignified diplomat, Mrs. Little Stevie knows that's her cue to disappear gracefully. "You two should talk," she whispers. "Let me just pee." Oops.

Carmela moves to the front door, which any loyal viewer already knows has been the scene of countless broken hearts for her. And yep, here's another one. Instead of coming in to beg forgiveness, drop off an envelope filled with cash, make sweet, sweet swimming-pool love, and then leave immediately to go work out for three hours and have another therapy session, Tony actually just waves and smiles from the driver's seat of his Escalade, and then backs out of the driveway. Carmela takes this like a slap to her reconciliation-friendly face, and immediately heads back inside to grill her son about Tony's motives. AJ explains that dad was feeling "tired," (which, in Tony-speak, translates to "clueless about romance"), although Dad did tell AJ to give her an envelope filled with cash and a "kiss on the cheek." Well, one-and-a-half out of five ain't bad, I guess. Although AJ does actually neglect to pay up on the kiss, but that's probably just because of the truly ginormous lip zit that Robert Iler is sporting in this scene. That thing looks like it could affect the tides. "Thank God," sighs Carmela, "because the last thing I needed was to talk to him." She doesn't really believe that, though. And neither does Mrs. Little Stevie.

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