Carmela and Meadow, meanwhile, have fallen into the Gap. Or, more likely, a trendier, ritzier, more expensive version of the Gap where they sell leopard-print khakis and Bad Idea jeans. Why? Because talking to Meadow is ALWAYS a bad idea. Case in point: when Carmela reveals that she's planning on going forward with the divorce, Meadow replies by asking if she's ever thought beyond "being dependent on some man." Um, wouldn't filing for divorce be a very precise indicator that she has, in fact, thought beyond being dependent on a man? You know the words, people, so sing it with me: Shut up, Meadow. "It's so simple for you, isn't it?" snarks Carmela. "It's simple for everybody who isn't expecting things to be handed to them," replies Meadow. "Even Finn got a job working construction." Wow. There are just so many things wrong with that sentence that if I tried to start talking about them, we'd all still be here until the season finale. So instead, I'll just repeat myself. Shut up, Meadow. "There are options in life," Meadow snots. "Isn't that what you always told me?" "You have options," answers Carmela. "I have a lawyer." And a recapper. I've got your back, Carmela!
Job site. Phil Leotardo and his new Joey Peeps Replacement Goon show up, prompting this remarkable observation from Wide Guy: "Of course, now he comes. As soon as the Jersey tomatoes are in season, you can't keep these New York guys away." You know, I've often heard Sars voice that exact complaint. Of course, she also likes to put a phone book on my chest and shoot me through it every now and then, so it's really a shout-out in more ways than one. Fortunately for Sars, I would think, Phil is more interested in making his weekly pick-up, whereas his Joey Peeps Replacement Goon (introduced as his brother Billy, a.k.a. the guy who shot Lorraine the Loan Shark WITHOUT the benefit of the yellow pages) is more interested in skimming some cases of toner from the foreman's office so that he can sell them out of his trunk. True story: I work in a call center, and an Italian co-worker once called me over to the trunk of his Lincoln Continental and asked if I'd be interested in using company funds to buy three dozen telephone headsets at 20% below retail. I declined, but I have to admit that if he'd been selling toner, I might have jumped on it. My work printer sucks. Anyway, once the Leotardos leave, the boys quickly resume their daily bullshit session. This time, the conversation consists mainly of mocking the various hirsuteness levels of their respective girlfriends. Vinnie Delpino's is said to have sideburns, whereas Little Paulie's has a full-on mustache. "Must have been like kissing a fireman," jokes Thin Guy. "You ought to know, sweetie," answers Little Paulie, with the requisite faux-lisp. Note, by the way, the portentous shot of Wide Guy we get here, as he attempts to gauge Thin Guy's response to these allegations of homosexuality. That response comes almost immediately, as Thin Guy gets up, pretends to be heading off cheerfully to take a piss, and then smashes his bottle of -- what else? -- Snapple right into Little Paulie's face. Both Finn and Katie Casas react with horror, but the boys just go right on laughing, including Wide Guy, who says the he "knew that was coming." I'll assume the pun there was unintentional. Or was it? Thin Guy continues to administer a pretty severe beatdown, which actually causes Finn to lean over and throw up. Wuss. The boys finally manage to drag Thin Guy away from the bloody and bruised Little Paulie, and it's only now that he starts to worry about what might happen if "one of these civilians calls the cops." "Don't worry," replies Wide Guy. "I think I seen a couple of [racial epithet deleted]s running that way." In other words, unidentified black males did it. Katie does her best to tend to Finn, but I have a hard time believing that a girl who has appeared to be more than comfortable around the mob guys so far would still be impressed with a guy who pukes at the first sign of blood. Then again, we'll probably find out next week that she's been dating Furio on the side.