Up in Noah's room, Meadow has taken Caitlin's complaint to heart and decided to find a guy for her. She asks if Noah has any friends, but instead of saying "no" as I expected, he declares that he wouldn't "subject [his] friends to Caitlin." I wouldn't subject my friends (including the one named Tannenbaum) to Noah, but that doesn't seem to be stopping them from watching. In fact, here are some actual comments from actual acquaintances of mine this week:

My boss: Did you watch last night? Was that some great pole-dancing or what?
A friend: I know! I love that song.
A co-worker: How come you're not as funny as Strega?

I swear to god I'm not making these up. The crack MBTV legal staff, however, is requiring me to declare that any other conversations which may appear in these recaps are completely fictional, and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Except for the Michael Knight one. That really happened. Noah suggests that they take Caitlin out for her birthday. "It would cheer her up," he says. "And I bet I know what would cheer you up." Repeated viewings of this episode? Nope. It's sex. I guess sex is pretty much always the obvious answer to the question "What cheers you up?" I know it works for me. Which also explains why I'm depressed all the time.

Speaking of sex, we cut from a chaste shot of Meadow in her bra to a quite lewd shot of a bare-breasted Tracee, emerging from the Bing's back room. Tony is on the phone, giving home-repair instructions to Janice. Who? Oh, yeah. I guess she's still alive too. Tracee comes over and smiles at Tony, asking him if he notices anything different. When he doesn't notice, she explains that Silvio gave her a loan so she could get braces. How could he not notice those? They're so bright you could see a vampire's reflection in them. I'm downgrading my nine to a six. By the way, see what I did there? How I objectified and dehumanized her? Get used to it. That's the nicest thing anyone will ever do for Tracee from here on out. Silvio comes over and breaks up the party, sending her out onto the stage. As they watch her dance, Tony asks why Pants isn't paying for the dental work, and Silvio reports that he's "juicing her." For those more familiar with the lexicon than I, does that mean he's sleeping with her, or just loan-sharking? ["I don't know the answer to that, but I do know that there's no way Silvio would have shelled out three grand for anything other than those Invisalign things." -- Sars] After watching Tracee dance myself, I think I'll put that six back up to an eight.