Carmela is sleeping, alone in the bed. Meadow comes into the room, saying, "I'm sorry, were you sleeping?" And this girl goes to an Ivy League school? She climbs into bed with Mommy, and recaps the evening's events for her. When she mentions Noah, Carmela starts quizzing her. "Is that a problem?" asks Meadow. "Hey, you started this conversation," replies Carmela, who's pretending to be a lot sleepier than she really is. She reminds Meadow about the dentist again (and get it? With the braces for Tracee?), and also mentions Little Lord Fuckpants. Meadow is still talking about Noah. "[He's] great, but he's kind of odd, you know?" I'm not sure "odd" is really the word I would use. In fact, the consensus choice seems to be "dickhead." Carmela asks if she's in love with the boy, and Meadow replies that "at this point, [she] better be." Carmela tries to get more info, but Meadow doesn't want to share quite that much with Mom.
Cut to the Bing, where a disheveled and disoriented Tony staggers out into the sunlight. In all my life I've only been to a strip club three times, all for bachelor parties, but Tony definitely looks like a lot of the guys you see in there. And here's Tracee again, following him around like a puppy dog. She confesses that she's pregnant with Joey Pants' baby, and Tony doesn't seem too sympathetic. He reminds her that she already has one kid, and that there were problems with that. "Burning him with cigarettes, whatever you were doing," he says. Tracee tells him that she got help for that, and the social workers traced it all back to her mom holding her hand on the stove when she was young. Well, this just keeps getting happier and happier, doesn't it? Tony tells her she needs another kid like she needs a hole in the head. Or a folk singer, for that matter. "So you think I should get an abortion?" she asks. "Believe me, with Ralphie as the father, you'd be doing the kid and the next few generations a favor." And with that, he hops in the car and drives off, leaving a pensive Tracee in the parking lot.
Casa di Soprano. Meadow and AJ are at the breakfast table, bickering about syrup. When Meadow spots an ad in the paper, she suggests a shopping spree with Carmela. Like she really needs more clothes to lug home every weekend. AJ, however, needs underwear, which I mention for no particular reason. Unfortunately, Carmela is too busy doing Meadow's laundry to go shopping. And then the Meadow we all know and hate reappears as she waves her glass imperiously above her head, signaling for a refill. Carmela gives her the stink-eye, and Meadow finally gets up to get it herself. You know, say what you want about the girl, but for me, this scene was the crux of the entire episode. Meadow's a snot, and she's spoiled rotten, but what separates her from Tracee and Caitlin is that she has a family that, whatever their sins may be, truly cares for her. She has support, affection, protection, and even occasionally discipline. She's also been forced to grow up fast with the knowledge of her father's occupation. The life lessons she learned in "College" in season one now serve her well in season three's "University." Our little Meadow is now officially all grown up.