Either the library at Columbia is both extremely small, and also partially converted for residential usage, or I'm thinking Meadow might have lied back there. Actually, they're in Noah's room, and he's trying to justify Caitlin's behavior as "culture shock. We're used to the mean streets." Which is actually funny twice, because that's a movie and he's from Hollywood, and it's also about mobsters for Meadow. "You're sweet," she tells him. "Most guys wouldn't even give a shit." "I'm not most guys," he replies, and moves in for the kill. There's some macking, which is rapidly followed by some stripping, and in the first of what will be many compare-and-contrast moments, we're merely teased with the possibility of a topless Meadow, rather than actually seeing it. "Do you have a condom?" she asks, and he reaches out and grabs one from off-screen. Except they forgot to Foley in the sound of a drawer opening, so it seems like he's just got them lying around on his nightstand, which wouldn't be very romantic. Meanwhile, Meadow looks nervous, and while I find it hard to believe she's never done this before, the scene definitely has a virgin vibe to it. They're silent the whole time, with the sounds of sirens and traffic coming in through the window. For the record, Noah isn't real big on foreplay. Meadow closes her eyes, and we fade out.
Madonna: So is she like a virgin? You know, touched for the very first time?
David Chase: Actually, he barely touched her at all. At least she didn't suffer.
Madonna: Some boys kiss me, some boys hold me. I think they're okay. But if they don't give me proper credit I just walk away.
David Chase: I know. Men are evil. What are you gonna do?
Das Sopranohaus. Carmela is scrubbing her Jell-O mold. I know it's sometimes hard to tell with me, but that's not a euphemism for anything. Meadow comes in, glowing with happiness, and -- of course -- carrying a bag of laundry. How many times a day does this girl change clothes? Mom reminds her that it's time for her next dentist appointment, and Meadow responds by complimenting both her cooking and her shoes. They are nice shoes. They look like something Rae Dawn Chong might wear. "What's up with you?" Carmela wonders, and I wonder how anyone who's spent more than ten minutes with Meadow wouldn't just naturally assume she needed money. Meadow opens the fridge, revealing a shelf which contains, I kid you not, at least a hundred bottles of Snapple. It was a pretty quick shot though, so I'd say it was more of a product shout-out than a product placement. Anyway, Meadow starts reminiscing about the good old days with Mom, and then Tony comes downstairs. She's actually cheerful enough to say hello to him, so you just know she must have gotten laid for the first time the night before. She starts blabbing about Noah and Caitlin and the hair-pulling, and how "[Caitlin's] scalp is like all raw" now. I know what that's like. You wouldn't think it'd be possible to OD on Rogaine, but you can. Trust me. Tony describes Caitlin's problems as "nothing a straitjacket wouldn't cure," and Meadow, who's as good at spotting hypocrisy in others as she is bad at seeing it in herself, replies, "Oh yeah. I forgot I was talking to Mr. Sensitivity, who doesn't have any problems of his own." She storms off, and Tony is instantly furious that she's still seeing Noah. Carmela warns him to leave her alone, saying, "She's under a lot of strain." Yeah, from lugging her entire wardrobe around every week.