Episode Report Card
Aaron: A | 3 USERS: A+
Girls, Interrupted

Back to the Bing, with the strippers and all their Kinks. I'm almost positive one of the guys at the bar in this scene is Ray Liotta. If you've got a tape, check it out. In the back room, Bouncer Bob is, well, bouncing. I think his actual name is Georgie, but Bouncer Bob just seems right somehow. He refuses to let one of the strippers in, saying, "It's VIP work. VIP prices. Fifty bucks to me, plus a blowjob later." She pays up reluctantly. She's also a man, I think. Or maybe Barbra Streisand. Inside, pretty much the entire male population of the cast has gathered. Paulie is doing stand-up in the corner, referring to Bobbie Bacala and Wide Guy as the "before" and "way before" (respectively) shots for a weight-loss campaign. As he is prone to do, he repeats his joke to Tony, who's got a hooker in one hand and the keys to the storage closet in the other. Tony invites her inside, saying, "I want to show you where the horse bit me." Now that's a pick-up line. Plus it also reminds me of the time I got bit by a camel. That's not a joke either, by the way. I actually have a scar. Tracee tries to talk to Tony, but he blows her off.

Across the room, Bouncer Bob opens the door to find Joey Pants. For the love of God and all things holy, can we please get this guy some non-Gladiator-related dialogue? When Bouncer Bob admits he's never seen that particular flick (ahh, someone else who hasn't seen it. Now I feel better), Pants pauses for a moment before saying, "Well, you're an asshole then." He steps inside and starts working the room, insulting pretty much everyone in the process. Tracee runs up to greet him, but he pushes her away before she can kiss him, saying (in front of everyone), "How many cocks you suck tonight?" That, I can assure you, is not a good pick-up line. He orders her to make him a drink, giving her a slap on the ass as she walks off. I'd be remiss if I didn't at least mention her dress here, because it's red leather with large gaping holes all up and down the sides, and it covers an approximate total of three square inches of her body.

After not kissing Tracee, Pants immediately turns to Gigi and plants a wet one right on his lips. He then asks after Tony, and is told that Tony is "getting his weasel greased," presumably by the horse that bit him. Paulie tries to warn Pants about "breaking balls all the time," and isn't it just a shame that I already used my pot/kettle joke? Oh well. Pants goes back over to Bouncer Bob, saying, "Hey fucko! This weekend? Get the video." Then he stubs out a cigar on Bob's chest. Bob, by the way, is roughly twice Joey's size. Back at the bar, Gigi grouches about Pants, and we get a shot of Furio, who's decked out in country-western garb with his hair down. Heh. Now Pants starts poking Bouncer Bob with a pool queue, and despite Bob's insistence that "it fucking hurts," he still knows better than to hit a made guy. After chasing Bob across the room with the pool queue, Pants picks up a huge chain with a lock on the end and starts swinging it over his head. What the hell is something like that doing in the VIP lounge of a strip club? Insert your own "balls and chain" joke here, I guess. At this point Silvio tries to intervene, but Pants keeps pulling his chain. Literally. Over in the closet, Tony doesn't even try talking to the hooker, but she blows him anyway. When he hears the screaming from outside, however, he pushes her away, looking pissed. Pants is swinging the chain even faster now, and he finally connects with Bob's head, sending him crashing to the ground. He insists it was just an accident, and tells the blinded Bob to "stop being such a cry-baby." Tony doesn't want to hear it, however, and orders him to take Bob to the hospital. Tracee and her dress try to talk to Tony again, but when she offers him the recipe for the date-palm bread, he walks away.

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