Sopranos
Walk Like A Man

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | 2 USERS: A
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Walk Like A Man

AJ has coffee with Blanca at the construction site. They seem to be getting along quite well, until Blanca talks to one of the other guys, and AJ gets jealous. Blanca tells him to cut it out or she won't see him again. She adds that, the last time they had coffee, he started crying. So AJ...starts crying and says that he can't sleep at night, and that he loves Blanca. Oh, this is just pathetic. And yet, haven't we all been there? You know you shouldn't talk to the person, but somehow you find yourself dialing the number late at night, and after hanging up three or four times, you actually say hello, but then realize you didn't plan on what to say next, so you just blurt something out like, "I still love you!" And it's just awful. Not that I have personal experience with that. I've heard things. Blanca looks uncomfortable and tells him that he's embarrassing her. AJ starts sobbing and walks back to his car.

Tony propositions a stripper at the Bing, so I guess the whole fidelity thing is really and truly over and last week's humping wasn't a one-off. Carmela calls Tony and begs him to come home, because she has to leave the house, and she's worried that AJ's going to hurt himself. Tony sighs, pissed that he has to skip his afternoon delight because of his loser son's potential suicide.

Tony goes into AJ's room and finds AJ lying on his bed in his underwear. Tony tells him, essentially, to snap out of it, but AJ won't. Tony thinks he can yell AJ out of his depression, but AJ just starts crying again. Good Lord. AJ has cried more in this episode than I have in probably the last five years. Tony sits down and actually empathizes for a moment. He tells AJ that everyone gets the blues sometimes, and semi-jokes that the music industry wouldn't exist without it. He counsels, "These fucking women -- they'll drive you nuts with your emotions and whatnot. And I know it feels like you're never gonna love anybody again, but trust me, there's millions of girls out there that are dying to meet a guy like you." AJ sniffs, "Oh, I'm so special." Tony tells AJ that he's handsome, a hard worker, and white, which is "a huge plus nowadays." Oh, Tony. He was actually making sense there for a while, and I would even concede that a certain segment of the population might find AJ handsome, but "hard worker"? And white being a huge plus? Tony's final piece of advice is that AJ should "go out and get a blowjob." AJ yells that he doesn't want a blowjob. What twenty-year-old guy doesn't want a blowjob? And while Tony isn't exactly Mr. Sensitive, sometimes what you need when you're swimming in post-breakup hell is to go out and get drunk and make out with someone else. Now I'm sounding like That Guy: "Go out and find someone that looks just like her, fuck her and then dump her!" Tony tells AJ to keep it down, and AJ wonders who's listening in. Suddenly, the door swings open and Carmela is standing there, to AJ's chagrin. She chastens him for seeing Blanca again, but the appearance of his mother has made AJ revert back to hiding his face in the pillow and crying. Carmela says that it's killing her to see him like this, and AJ wonders what the point is, and asks his parents to leave him alone. Outside, Carmela says that she was glad when AJ and Blanca broke up due to "the culture divide," and Tony opines that "everything turns to shit." I wonder where AJ gets his pessimistic streak from?

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Sopranos

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