Hey! It's the A-Team! I used to love that show! Not as much as Murder One, MacGyver, or Red Shoe Diaries, but I loved it nonetheless. Adriana is watching TV again, and this time the A-Team's insipid dialogue about smuggling an incriminating videotape across the county line should provide all the explanation Adriana could ever need about why you shouldn't believe everything you hear on television. If this job has taught me anything, it's that the only network you can trust is the UPN, and that's only because they don't even try to hide the fact that they suck. Christopher comes home, and turns off the TV before silently sitting down beside his fiancée. Eventually, he admits that even though he's "not happy" she lied to him, he graciously does want to "try and deal with it." "I love you, Adriana," he says tenderly. "I want you in my life." Aww. Now, see? These two crazy, mixed-up kids really do love each other. It's actually quite sweet, in a drug-induced, shadow-of-impending-doom sort of way. Adriana asks if he's high, because she wants to be sure that his feelings are real, and when he insists that they are, she asks when they can get married. Christopher wants to do it in Las Vegas on their anniversary, which causes me to suddenly realize that I'll be in Vegas myself for the weekend of the season finale. I'd better go check my mail for an invitation. The happy couple embraces, and Adriana tries very hard not to spill the ash from her cigarette onto the leather sofa.
Chez Soprano. Carmela refuses to allow Adriana to get married by an "Elvis impersonator," because, as we all know, marriage is a "sacrament." And nothing says heresy like a fat guy in a sequined jumpsuit. Instead, she wants to hold the wedding right there at Chez Soprano, in the backyard, or maybe in the "great room." "What's so great about it?" I wonder. Carmela, however, is too excited to answer. In fact, her voice is pitched so high that I'm surprised Adriana's dog hasn't come running. She wants to invite all their friends, and have Artie do the catering. "We can decorate the whole house with mums," she says, to the woman who can't have children. Heh. You always gotta be paying attention with this show. Eventually, Adriana gets into the spirit of things, and actually seems to be excited about life for a moment. And, even more shocking, she's wearing a zebra print instead of leopard. You could knock me over with a feather.