Watching Too Much Television

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Our (Crack) House

Who else thinks we should have Daylight Savings Time every weekend?

The episode opens with my first chance all season to use the words "Tony Sirico" and "back" in a sentence that has an entirely positive connotation. Well, hallelujah. We're at The Bing, and pretty much the entire male component of the cast has gathered to welcome Paulie home from jail. Once the obligatory hugs, toasts, and prison sex jokes are exchanged, Silvio cues up Paulie's favorite song on the loudspeakers. It's an old Frank Sinatra tune, and my extensive research on the subject indicates that Dean Martin had absolutely nothing to do with this one. I'm sure I'll somehow be proven wrong on that. After pausing to introduce him to Cousin Brian, Tony leads Paulie over to the bar for a little sit-down. He welcomes him back from the wilds of Youngstown, and even hands over an envelope stuffed with cash. Paulie, in his ever inimitable style, replies, "Not that I don't appreciate it, but I could have used a boost while I was gone, too. Fucking bills." Sheesh. All I got when I was released from jail was twenty bucks in bus money and a postcard from Zihuatanejo. Tony just rolls his eyes, and reminds Paulie about the no show jobs he got for him. "Just enjoy the party," he adds. A chastened Paulie promises that he will. And so, it seems, will I. Cut to some silicone -- er, strippers, cavorting wildly onstage. It looks like all that pole cleaning we saw earlier in the season has finally paid off. In any case, gratuitous female nudity is always welcome my house, and even Tony sports an indulgent smile as he watches Brian doing body-shots off a topless waitress.

Hey! It's Murder One! I used to love that show! In fact, if we ever do a "TWoP at Nite"-style, old-school recap site, that'll be the first show I sign up for. Well, okay. It would actually be the second show, but since Sars has already repeatedly refused to let me recap Red Shoe Diaries, I'll take what I can get. The scene in question describes the legal machinations that result from Julie's decision to marry Richard so she can't be forced to testify against him at Neil's trial. Oddly enough, the girl who plays Julie (Bobbie Phillips) was yet another youthful infatuation of mine, which is why I was shocked to discover that I've apparently never seen her episode of Red Shoe Diaries. Looks like I'll be heading to Blockbuster as soon as the recap is finished. Anyway, as Adriana sits alone on her couch and listens to the dulcet tones of Daniel Benzali emphasizing his objections to the marital privilege, we slowly push in on her face in order to better see the six brain cells that the heroin hasn't killed light up with understanding.

Back at the Bing, Brian wakes up on the stage the next morning with no pants on and no clue how he got there. Up on the balcony, Tony pokes his head up to suggest they go to breakfast, and Joey Pants emerges from the men's room to invite himself along as well. Everyone's bed-head is making me giggle here, but I do have a hard time believing that Tony would ever sleep on the floor, especially when we already know that the VIP room has a couch.

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