Watching Too Much Television

Episode Report Card
Aaron: A | Grade It Now!
Our (Crack) House

And as the music keeps playing, Tony pulls up in front of Boon's house. He rings the bell and Irina answers, looking just guilty enough in her silk robe to make us think they're having an affair. So, of course, the next shot is of Tony walking into the bedroom to find a half-naked and pasty-white Boon sitting on the bed in his underwear. Be honest: How many people's thoughts went to a very icky place when they saw that? No one? Really? I must be watching too much Red Shoe Diaries. Boon is confused by Tony's unexpected arrival, and the fact that Tony remains completely silent isn't doing anything to alleviate his anxiety. Suddenly, Tony strips off his belt and very calmly begins beating on Boon with it. Peter Riegert just crumples to the floor and takes it without even trying to fight back, and not even Irina's screaming can convince Tony to stop. Finally he steps back (after delivering a particularly vicious blow to Boon's ass), and looms over him while wondering, "All the girls in New Jersey, and you had to fuck this one?" And are we to believe that's really Tony's motivation here? That he's upset because he misses Irina? Or is it because he has no choice but to miss Gloria? Or perhaps it's frustration that he can't beat some sense into his own son like he's doing with Boon here. Using a belt like that would seem to support that idea somewhat, as would the fact that Tony was unable to talk about his frustration over AJ with Melfi earlier in the show. But I think it's most likely that the song and the belt were in his mind solely because that's what was going on when he first heard about the whole thing. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, I guess. Tony gives Irina one last lingering look, and then he pats her on the cheek and walks out the door. We finally fade to black over Irina trying to decide which man she should run to.

Wow. Good episode. I suppose that's what happens when you let the entire writing staff take a crack at it (five different people worked on this script). In fact, it was so good that there's really only one thing left to be said here, while the image of Boon's beating remains fresh in our minds: Thank you sir, may I have another?

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