Over at Junior's Joint, the New Old Guy is watching a Tony Robbins infomercial. You know, because this show just doesn't have enough fucking Tonys. For God's sake, I gotta deal with Tony S. and Tony B., Carmine and Little Carmine, Bobby and Bobby Jr., not to mention an additional Junior, two different Johnnys, and a pair of Frankies. At least they killed both Pussys. I'd have gone insane by now if they hadn't. Anyway, Junior is missing, and Bobby can't find him anywhere. Bobby Sr., that is.
Cut to Junior, wandering the streets with no shoes on. He's somewhere in the old neighborhood, and he finally sees an address that looks familiar. He heads inside, where he finds a man teaching an African-American youth group how to handle reluctant customers when they're out selling on a candy drive. "Nobody wants them Turkish Taffies," complains a kid in the back. "You push harder," replies the leader. "What did I teach you about profit margin?" Hee! I'm totally picturing Girl Scout meetings going exactly the same way. Hell, I've probably put a half-dozen little girls through college by now just with my Tagalong consumption. Junior, however, is confused, because he was apparently expecting to find his brother there. "Where's Johnny?" he asks, which gives us an StTM of 1,538, and slides neatly into third place behind "Toodle-F***ing-Oo" and "Full Leather Jacket" on my list of favorite episode titles. Nobody knows anything about a "Johnny Soprano," though, and Junior is eventually expelled from the premises and forced to take off down the street like the happy wanderer he is.
Back at Junior's Joint, however, Bobby isn't happy at all. He's actually calling around to Junior's ex-girlfriends to see if he's with them, but to no avail. New Old Guy reveals that Junior said something about looking for "Johnny," and also mentions the Curb Your Enthusiasm confusion, which finally causes Bobby to think that Junior might not be well in the head. See? That's what happens when you watch too much television. Bobby's next call is too Janice, who nags him about the dry cleaning and suggests that Junior is off gossiping with the neighbors because he's "an old woman." Well, I don't know if he'd be gossiping with them, but he definitely might be asking them for ice cream. And while we're on the subject of dairy products, Janice takes the phone into the kitchen, where she finds Bobby Jr. mixing up a nice refreshing glass of chocolate milk. Which goes quite well with Tagalongs, by the way. Without even saying a word to the kid, she grabs the glass right out of his hands and pours it out into the sink. Heh. Someone must be a little sick of washing Bobby Jr.'s sheets. Bobby Sr. asks Junior's niece Janice to come over and hang out in case Junior comes home so that Bobby can go out looking. Janice doesn't exactly jump for joy at that idea, though. "I need your help here," bitches Bobby. "Jesus Christ! Sometimes I think I love Junior more than you do!" Well, of course he does. Hell, you can tell that just by the way he says his name. Remember "Junior, don't leave me!"? The scene ends with Janice and Bobby Jr. glaring at each other, and me laughing at both of them.