Sopranos
Sopranos

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B+ | 751 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
It's The End Of The Season As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

Perhaps harkening back to his days with Aida Turturro in the cast of "A Streetcar Named Desire," Tony next goes over to Irina's house and starts pounding on the door and screaming her name. It's fun to turn down the volume and pretend he's yelling, "Stella!" Try it. You'll see. Anyway, it turns out that Irina isn't there, but Svetlana is. She comes out to join him on the porch, and testily informs him that Irina blames Tony for her break-up with Boon, because Boon "couldn't perform" ever since the belt incident, and now Irina is back to her lonely ways. Tony realizes that it was Branca (a.k.a. Nurse Bratchett) who must have told Irina about him and Svetlana, and Svetlana agrees. "We had bad argument about FICA and federal withholding I take from her paycheck, " she explains. Tony has a good laugh about that, and I imagine David Chase did too, as he subtly works in yet another tale about a famous mobster brought down by tax problems. His mood changes, however, when he remembers the children. "I gotta go home tomorrow," he snarls, "and I gotta tell my kids we're separated. It's gonna rip them up." "Divorce is very hard for kids," replies Svetlana. "After this, they don't trust." Now, on the one hand, my parents are still together, so I don't really have any room to talk here, but on the other, fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce these days, and it's not like Meadow and AJ aren't old enough to know the score. And besides, those two haven't exactly demonstrated that they ever had a whole lot of trust in their parents in the first place, so I'm not sure why we're supposed to be so worried about them. Tony is still furious about it, however. He demands sympathy from Svetlana, who has none to give, and even goes so far as to call her the "most expensive piece of ass" he's ever had. Which really isn't all that surprising. If my recent trip to Vegas has taught me anything, it's that one-legged ass costs way more than the normal kind. Eventually he quiets down, and they stare at each other for a moment. "I know what you are thinking," she says, once it's clear he's thinking about coming inside to be with her. Instead, she touches his hand, and tells him everything will be all right. Then she goes inside, never to be seen again this season.

Sopranos

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