Sopranos
Sopranos

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B+ | 774 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
It's The End Of The Season As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

Joss Whedon: Damn! It's about time you finally whacked someone. I'm falling asleep over here.
David Chase: Yeah, well, speaking of getting whacked
Joss Whedon: I know! Can you believe those fuckers cancelled us?
David Chase: Hey, you mess with the Fox, you get the…I don't know, sharp, pointy little teeth or something. Maybe next time you should pick a real network.
Joss Whedon: Yeah, well at least I know how to limit myself to NINE major characters per show.
David Chase: Yeah, and at least I'VE been NOMINATED for an Emmy!
Joss Whedon: Asshole.
David Chase: Cancellation monkey.
Joss Whedon: Cable snob.
David Chase: Space hooker.

A spiraling shot of the sun fades into an overhead shot of Tony, floating on a lime green raft in the middle of their pool. Oy. I'm not sure which is worse, the sight of Tony in a bathing suit, or trying to figure out why he's in the pool when AJ was just bitching about how cold it was outside like three episodes ago. ["That looked like an homage to The Graduate to me, for what it's worth." -- Sars] Whatever. Carmela comes outside to stand silently by the pool, and when Tony finally prompts her, she complains that the theater chairs are hurting the lawn. "Bad for the grass! Bad for the grass!" mocks Tony, in a high-pitched reference to Chinatown. Then he wonders if that's really the reason she came outside to talk to him. "Why do you have to make even this little thing so difficult?" she asks, symbolizing her anger at the course of most of their interactions. "What possible reason do you have for coming out here to talk me about theater seats except to bust my balls?" he answers, symbolizing his own anger at the course of most of their interactions. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think even Mike Binder has a healthier marriage than this. Carmela uses the F-word at this point, and Tony mocks her by saying it'll cost her three dollars as he climbs out of the pool. Seemingly resigned to their fate, Carmela sighs, and says, "What's done is done. We are where we are, and it's for the best. But just for the record, or it might even interest you to know that I might actually have gone on with your cheating and your bullshit if your attitude around here had been even the least bit loving." "Whose idea was Whitecaps?" he wonders, but Carmela believes that's just "a bigger version of an emerald ring," and a way for him to keep on with his "other life." What's interesting is that they're both right. Tony really did buy the house because he loves her, but Carmela still wants more than just possessions to prove his affections. "You don't know me at all," claims Tony, but Carmela has a snappy answer for that one, too: "I know you better than anybody, Tony. Even your friends. Which is probably why you hate me." Ooh, burn. Score one for the armchair psychiatrist. "Hate you?" smirks Tony. "Well, don't worry. I'm going to hell when I die. Nice thing to say to a person going into an MRI." And with that, he turns to walk inside.

Sopranos

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