Moments later, he's returning the favor by knocking on Lawyer Bruce's door, and he's greeted by Mrs. Lawyer Bruce, who also seems to favor the sweater-over-the-shoulders look. What is this, 1986? Are they wearing Izods and deck shoes? Will AJ start pegging his jeans? Tony, who's still dressed in yesterday's outfit, explains that given his marital troubles, he's decided not to buy the house. Lawyer Bruce is unsurprisingly obstinate, insisting that he and his "partners" have a signed contract, and the deal has to go through. Their bargaining is interrupted by Tony's cell phone, and once Tony leaves to answer it, Mrs. Lawyer Bruce gets all up in her husband's face. "That guy's a mobster!" she points out, but LB doesn't care. He's dealt with the mob before, over a copyright dispute that (believe it or not) somehow involved Enya. No, I don't understand it, either. Man, where's Hesh when you need him? Oh, that's right. And then, just to make sure we all understand that the money-grubbing lawyer is Jewish, Lawyer Bruce calls his wife "rabbi." Now that's some stereotyping shit.
Outside, Tony answers his phone and is told by Johnny Sack that Carmine is ready to make a deal over the Esplanade. "Are you kidding me?" wonders Tony. "Everything's in motion." "Welcome to my world," replies Johnny. By the way, there's still almost forty minutes left in the episode. Welcome to MY world.
Now we're in a park, where Tony and Christopher are meeting with Carmine and Johnny. Oddly enough, it seems they've decided to settle the Esplanade issue by having a contest to see who can dress the worst. Is it Tony, in his gray checked blazer with brown pants? Or Johnny, in his purple-on-purple jacket-and-shirt combo? Or how about Carmine, who's wearing puke-green linen? Actually, I think the medal goes to Christopher, who's wearing the ugliest top I've seen since Saskia Kupferberg's Sexually Ambiguous Sweater Of Death. And he's got it unbuttoned about halfway down as well, which really isn't helping things. I'm thinking the wardrobe department must have decided to empty out their closets in anticipation of the off-season. Anyway, I've got miles of recapping to go before I sleep, so I'll just say that Carmine expresses his condolences over Tony's marriage (I guess news travels really, really fast, seeing as how it's been less than twenty-four hours since the big fight), and everyone finally settles on a fifteen-percent fee to New York for Tony's HUD scams. Foreshadowing then prompts Carmine to remind Tony how helpful Little Carmine was in all this, and that Tony should remember that for the future. There's some facetious discussion about Carmine's health, and then hugs are exchanged all around.
Shut up, Meadow. Sorry. That was preemptive, because here she comes, walking down the steps in her pajamas. Remember how I said I appreciated Irina looking sexy while she was annoying? Here's the counterpoint. Even with the exposed midriff, Meadow just doesn't do it for me. I'm sure she's crushed. After grabbing a -- gasp! -- Snapple from the fridge, she sits down besides Carmela at the kitchen table, carefully rotates the bottle so that the label is visible, and proceeds to snot, "I used to feel so superior, because so many of my friends had these fucked-up divorced parents." Oh, whatever. She's so just using this as yet another excuse to skip school. After a few moments of conversation that almost seem tender for these two, Meadow asks her mother if Furio is the cause of all this. Yeah. As if. The cameraman who just pressed the button to zoom in on Carmela during that line got more action out of the "romance" plot than Furio did. Wuss. "I have never been unfaithful to your father," replies Carmela. "Daddy was," says Meadow, before sobbing, "Jesus! How could you eat shit from him for all those years?" and running out of the room. Oy. Second verse, same as the first: Shut up, Meadow.