Sopranos
Sopranos

Episode Report Card
Aaron: A | 541 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Slice Me Up!

Pants Manor. Tony has come over to deliver the bad news to Joey, who appears to be fairly shocked when he hears it. Joey invites him in for coffee, and they walk back into the kitchen, where we're informed that Justin is going to be mostly okay. Or he will be after the years of rehab and the learning to speak all over again, that is. Tony glosses right over this happy news to provide the somewhat unnecessary detail that Pie was still alive after the fire, but was burned so badly that she had to be put out of her misery. "What sick fuck would do something like that?" wonders Joey, who's busy at the stove making scrambled eggs. "Right," replies Tony. "What sick fuck?" That gets Joey's attention, and he looks up to see what Tony is talking about. "It's funny about God, and fate, and shit like that," continues Tony. "The horse gets better, we take out two hundred grand in insurance on the race coming up, and suddenly there's a fire." Joey insists that the fire must have been an accident, but Tony isn't buying it. He even asks if Joey has been talking to the arsonist they used to burn Vesuvio in the first season, but surprisingly does not mention the garbage truck fires Joey started himself in his Sopranos debut.

Joey finally snaps, and starts shouting to defend himself. In his view, the horse was sick all the time, and was only going to get worse, so the $200,000 payday is a "bolt from the blue." "Jesus Christ," spits Tony. "You did it. You cooked that horse alive." "No. I. Did. Not!" shouts Joey, "but so what? It's a fucking animal. It's a hundred grand apiece. My kid's in the fucking hospital. I don't hear you complaining when I bring you a nice fat envelope. You don't care where that comes from!" It's a good point, but it only makes Tony angrier. Joey, however, doesn't know when to quit. "What are you, a vegetarian?" he asks. "You eat beef and sausage by the fucking carload." Uh oh. That was not a smart thing to say. As always with Tony, meat is the final straw. He snarls and punches Joey right in the face, and we're off!

Round one of the fight goes to Tony, as the punch catches Joey off-guard. The little guy quickly retaliates, however, by grabbing the frying pan full of eggs and swinging for the fences. Incidentally, I knew this wasn't going to end well the moment he grabbed that pan. If there's one thing this show has made clear, it's that nobody hits a Soprano and survives. Joey obviously knows this as well, which is why he trades up from the frying pan to a butcher's knife. Tony pins his arm against the cabinets, however, and Joey is forced to scramble for another method of attack. He fumbles along the countertop, finally grabbing a can of Raid, which he sprays right into Tony's eyes. Ow. He then knees Tony in the crotch and tries to run for the back door. Tony dives on top of him, however, and starts bashing Joey's head into the tile floor. "She was a beautiful, innocent creature. What'd she ever do to you?" he yells as he wraps his hands around Joey's throat. Hmm. Is he talking about Pie, or Tracee? Joey's struggles slowly begin to cease, but Tony yells, "You fucking killed her," and continues to beat Joey's head against the floor. Finally, Joey lies still, and Tony stumbles off of him, grimacing at the pain in his eyes. He dashes to the sink to throw up, then splashes cold water against his face as he tries to catch his breath. Finally, after much swearing and grunting, he reaches for his cell phone.

Sopranos

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP