David Chase: Ha! Take that! I'd like to thank the Academy, my mother
Alan Ball: Oh, please.
David Chase: What? I just killed a major character, for Christ's sake!
Alan Ball: So? I do that every week. And besides, do you really think you're the first person to ever unexpectedly kill a bald guy? Hell, you're not even the first person to use an ambiguous arson.
David Chase: Yeah, well, I've still got the deeply philosophical portrayal of one man's battle with ennui in the face of absurdist violence.
Alan Ball: And I've got the deeply philosophical portrayal of talking dead people. Not to mention gay adoption, sex addiction, debilitating brain diseases, and post-traumatic stress syndrome. They're called "plots." You might want to look into them.
David Chase: I've got Gandolfini.
Alan Ball: I've got Hall AND Krause.
David Chase: I've got Janice and Joey.
Alan Ball: I've got Brenda and suburban Los Angeles.
David Chase: I've got heroin addicts! Emmy voters love struggling drug addicts!
Alan Ball: [pauses for bong hit] Yeah, so?
David Chase: I am gonna kick your ass.
Alan Ball: Yeah, right. You couldn't even kick David E. Kelley's ass.
Tony calls Christopher, who has just finished shooting up. "I need you call me back from a pay phone," Tony tells him. "You got three minutes." Chris puts down the phone, and then immediately keels over and falls asleep. Fade to black. And man, am I jealous. I could so use a nap right now.