We fade back up on Tony, who's wedged between the toilet and the shower in Joey's bathroom. His cell phone rings, and he chews Christopher out for being a half-hour late calling back. Chris's excuse? Adriana hid his keys. Uh, okay. Tony sends him to the store to buy surgical gloves and bleach, but hangs up before Chris can ask what's going on.
I should note here, by the way, that with only a single exception, the rest of the episode focuses only on these two. We never cut away until the very end, so if the paragraphs start getting a little weird, you'll know why. Anyway, Christopher has now arrived at Joey's house, and Tony leads him inside to see the body. "Hooo!" is about all Christopher can manage. "I found him like this," says Tony. Um, okay. "He was a piece of shit," he adds. "Whoever did this, it should have happened a long time ago." StTM = 2,355. And while Tony may be correct that Joey deserved everything that happened to him, you've still got to admit that the Pants family has certainly had a rough go of it on this show. Uh oh. I just realized I called Tony "Mr. Crankypants" last week. Man, that friggin' foreshadowing is even starting to infect me now. Tony further explains that they need to hide the body because of Uncle Junior's trial, and that they'll prep him there and then drive out after dark. Christopher is essentially mute at this point, and Tony finally catches on that he's high. "You promised me you wouldn't do that shit anymore!" he says. "I did-dint," replies Christopher. Heh. They sit down at the table and begin pulling on the surgical gloves, but Christopher is still having problems with the whole thing. "He was a captain, T. And our biggest earner." Tony doesn't want to hear it, and he orders Chris to go get a mop and start draining the body.
Cut to the upstairs, where Tony and Chris drag the body into a bathtub while Christopher confesses that he was, in fact, using heroin. Except he claims that he only snorted it, and that he was just trying to relax after a hard day of beating people and collecting their debts. Tony grabs some Visine out of the medicine cabinet, and Christopher pulls out a huge meat cleaver and gets ready to start dismembering the body. He goes to pull Joey's head up, and the toupee we've all come to know and hate comes right off in his hands. Hee! Christopher is freaked out, and Tony, who knew about it all along, teases him mercilessly. For the record, the toupee was not a shout-out. I prefer the natural look.