Over at the Pants Lair, Joey is hanging out with the Guys (Thin and Wide). Incidentally, does anyone know the provenance of the Pants Lair? I know it used to belong to Gigi before last season's unfortunate ass-clenching incident, so I guess it's owned by the crew. But is it a bar? A social club? Someone's house? It looks kind of like a rec room, which, given Joey's sexual predilections, could give all new meaning to the term basement of debasement. In any case, Joey is expounding upon his theories regarding who told Johnny Sack about the "ninety-five-pound mole" joke. He quickly figures out that the message must have been relayed from Little Paulie to Big Paulie to Johnny Sack, just like "a fucking telephone game." "You wanna play phone games?" he shouts, as Wide Guy tosses him the cordless. "That party was the only time I ever mentioned Shamu's fat ass." I shouldn't, but -- heh. After bouncing from operator to operator for a few moments, Joey finally gets connected to Mama Walnuts, who, of course, has her bedside lamp wired to The Clapper. I think it's a safe bet that sometime before the end of the season, this woman will have fallen and been unable to get up. And aren't we all looking forward to that? Once he has her on the line, the real fun begins. "This is Detective Mike Hunt of the Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania police department," says Joey. Ooh, shout-out? Beaver Falls is like ten miles from here. In fact, I'm typing this recap on a computer that's being powered by the Beaver Valley nuclear power plant. Joey goes on to claim that Paulie was busted at a highway rest-stop "sucking a cub scout's dick," and even goes so far as to break out the hoary old gerbil-up-the-ass chestnut before asking if Mama Walnuts has an insurance card to cover the cost of rodent-removal surgery. "Oh, madon'!" she cries, "I have Blue Cross-Blue Shield, is that all right?" Wide Guy and Thin Guy are barely able to contain their peals of laughter, and quite frankly, so am I. I debated whether or not I should admit this, but since there are more than a few potential quasi-shout-outs in this recap, I guess I sort of have to. So here goes: When I was twelve, my friend and I got arrested for making prank phone calls. I kid you not. We took my phone number, added one to it, and started calling those people mercilessly. It wasn't until the cops showed up a few days later that we discovered that the owner of that particular number happened to be on the local city council. Oops. It's been expunged from my record, so I can laugh about it now, but if my mom is reading this, she'll be happy to confirm that I'm still grounded. Anyway, I'm taking that whole scene as shout-out, and there weren't even any Rolling Stones puns in it.
Episode Report CardAaron: A | 541 USERS: B-
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