Whoever Did This

Episode Report Card
Aaron: A | 1 USERS: A+
Slice Me Up!

More shots of Tony and Christopher cleaning up, and they're not doing a very good job. I could go all Sobell on your asses and explain why cleaning the blood won't help (because of the luminol), or why severing the hands and head is useless (perhaps you've heard of DNA?), but really, what's the point? That's not this show, and I'm pretty thankful for that. And besides, it's not like Christopher was this careful cleaning up after the cop in the season premiere, so why worry? David Chase must feel the same way, because now we're following Christopher's car as they drive up to a ravine. They climb out, and drag Joey's body to the edge of the cliff. Tony delivers his version of a Just Say No pep-talk as they prepare to toss the body into the river below. "You got your whole life ahead of you," he declares. "You want to throw it away on drugs?" And with that, they swing the body out into space, and we watch as it sinks slowly beneath the water.

Cut to an empty field somewhere, which apparently belongs to Mikey Palmice's father. Tony explains that Palmice Senior is in the hospital for prostate surgery, which somehow makes this the perfect place to bury Joey's head and hands. The only problem is that the ground is frozen solid. The boys wander around for a minute, with Christopher speculating about whether or not Artie is "banging that French broad." Then Tony spots a backhoe, and tells Chris to hot-wire it for him. Christopher is able to get the engine running, but he doesn't have much luck driving the thing. He's randomly pulling levers and punching buttons, as Tony stands off to the side becoming more and more frustrated. Finally, Tony orders him out of the cab, and climbs in himself. With a few motions he's got the thing running smoothly; with a cigar clenched firmly between his teeth, he drives it over to where they plan to bury the head.

The backhoe makes short work of the frozen ground, and they're able to quickly bury the bowling ball bag which contains Joey's extremities. As they try to conceal the hole by kicking leaves over it, Tony explains that he learned how to drive one of these things while hanging out at his grandfather's construction site. At first I thought that might have been the church he keeps taking his kids to, but I'm pretty sure that was the great-grandfather. In any case, they get the bag buried and leave.

Alan Ball: I know -- let's ask Aaron who should win. I mean, who else knows us better?

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