"He's going to be a vegetable," she then tells Carmela, as the Ironic Segue Fairy takes us out for a light lunch at Vesuvio. Heh. I love gossip. It's fun! Rosalie also mentions that she suggested Joey visit Father Intintola, but doesn't think that he will. "There's another one who should talk to a priest," says Carmela, pointing to Artie. They watch him flirt shamelessly with Elodi as they gossip about his sleeping pill overdose, and then Carmela delivers a perfect faux-happy wave as the scene ends.
Junior's Joint. Bobby and Tony are coaching Uncle Joon on the best way to beat the government's psychological exams. The first question asks for today's date, and Junior answers with, "A blonde with big tits and a hatful of Viagra." If only that actually were my date for today. Oh, well. Tony chastises him for not taking the preparation seriously, and then fails to practice what he preaches by also suggesting that Junior wipe his ass with a copy of the test. Junior suddenly becomes angry, and morphs into Joe Pesci when he asks, "You think this is funny? I'm a source of amusement. I pretend to wipe my ass in front of people!" He seems more than a little worried that faking senility could somehow lead to actual senility, and he reminds us that his brother suffered from mental problems as well. "Suppose it doesn't work?" he wonders, before getting really worked up. "Suppose nothing works?" Just as he's contemplating spending his few remaining days in a maximum security prison, the doorbell rings. Janice answers it, and hey! It's Svetlana! Yay, Svetlana! "I've been wanting to talk to you," says Janice. "I should never have taken your prosthesis, but it did bring me to the Lord." "Eh, you are boring woman," mutters Svetlana as she pushes her way inside. Heh! Tony, at least, is as happy to see her as ever. Svetlana introduces the new nurse, who rushes over to help Junior to the bathroom, and then Tony notices Janice looking upset. "What's your problem, now?" he asks. "Like anyone would care," she cries, before stomping out like four-year-old. Hee! Who else wants to see Janice, Svetlana, and Bouncer Bob in a remake of Three's Company? Now THAT would be comedy gold.
Church. Joey Pants stands in Father Intintola's office, and opens the scene by saying, "Pleased to meet you." And since that's now our second official Stones reference, I guess this is where I explain (for the benefit of those of you who don't read the forums) that a significant portion of the dialogue from this episode is lifted from the Rolling Stones song "Sympathy for the Devil." It's a very clever way of illustrating one of David Chase's central tenets, which is that we should never root too strongly for characters who are, after all, really bad people. It's also possibly a shout-out, as I once revealed in a recap actually entitled "Sympathy for the Devil" that I personally consider Rolling Stones puns to be "the height of hilarity." Anyway, Joey takes a seat, and Father Tool Time tries gently to explain that God often works in mysterious ways. "Our Lord gave His only begotten son to suffer," he says, which prompts Joey to reply, "Nothing like this." Perhaps Joey is forgetting that crucifixion and death are at least marginally worse than a single puncture wound to the shoulder. "Were you there," wonders Father Rin Tin Tin, "when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain?" Bwa! They exchange looks, and then Paul Schulze gives a perfect little head-bob that acknowledges the joke without tipping the writers' hand. I know I give the character a lot of crap, but this guy always gives a good performance. And if that was a shout-out, it worked. That's probably the hardest I've ever laughed at this show. The good Father delivers some additional religio-babble about getting right with God, and then offers to pray with Joey. They join hands, and Tool Time delivers a prayer that may or may not be recognizable to people who aren't Jewish like myself.