The Street
High Yield Bonds

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High Yield Bonds

Balmont-Stevens. Night. Giancarlo watches a Chinese anchorwoman on the television as the night cleaning crew steals stuff in the background. Timmy-Fell-Down-A-Well approaches and Giancarlo says, "Beijing. Morning news." Uh...no one asked what you were watching. Oh, Timmy is supposed to be impressed that you speak Chinese. Timmy was impressed that you didn't make him show you his cock last week, I'm sure you don't need to work any harder to assert your bossdom. When Timmy takes the bait and asks Giancarlo whether he speaks Mandarin, he replies, without a trace of humor, "My accent could use some work." Oh, please. You don't have anywhere to be on a Friday night. That's not impressive, that's fucking sad. The Orchestra of Who Gives A Shit begins as Timmy explains that there was a mistake on the floor today (yeah, scenes three through seven) and a large sum of money was accidentally lost: "So if you're gonna have to fire someone over this, fire me." Gosh. I'll tell Aunt Bee that I ate the blueberry pie off the window sill because Jimmy Burlock is from a poor family and he doesn't know any better. Giancarlo raises an eyebrow -- he's contractually obligated to do that five times per episode -- as Timmy bolts out of the office to go buy a bus ticket back to Iowa. Commercials.

Morning. Offices. Timmy pours himself a cup of coffee (that'll stunt your growth, you know) as Nicky NotKatt lumbers in. "What, do you live here or sumpin?" Timmy-Fell-Down-A-Well smiles nervously and says something about staying ahead of the curve. Nicky reveals that Giancarlo called him at eleven last night. "What kind of stunt was that, huh?" says Nicky, amping up that Brooklyn accent from zero to sixty in seconds flat for this scene of Class Differences And The Audience Who Couldn't Relate Or Care Less. After Timmy-Fell-Down-A-Well stammers for a minute, Nicky says that he set Giancarlo straight and that the loss is going in his book: "Don't feel sorry for me, Sherman. Ever." Can I still feel sorry for you? Good. Cuz I do.

Rickman strolls in as Goldberg says, "Mrs. Blagman ride you all night long?" Rickman says that he kept his honor and that he'd appreciate it if Goldberg kept her name out of this. Hey Rickman, you're treading on TES's ground there. You can't be nice already. It's only the third episode. Go molest a trainee or pee in the orange juice or something.

Giancarlo's office. Dan Hedaya stands in front of The Rocke-who (who is dressed like she's going to a gay rodeo) and Giancarlo, accusing The Rocke-who of using juiced golf balls. "Just sign by the 'X,' Randy," says Giancarlo. Dan Hedaya continues, "I demand to see her balls." The passing-through Rickman says, "I'm in." I wonder how many high-fives were thrown around the writers' room after they came up with that exchange one night at 4 AM after seven bottles of $4.99 Merlot? The writers go on to plug up a plot hole -- you know, the whole thing that Dan Hedaya could simply refuse to honor the bet -- by having Giancarlo meaningfully announce that he could leak to the street that Hedaya got beaten in golf by a woman. That's like trying to plug the Grand Canyon with a tin of Play-Doh. Via the magic of TV, the threat works and Dan Hedaya signs with the firm.

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The Street

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