The Street
High Yield Bonds

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High Yield Bonds

Top of unfinished high-rise. Rickman leads Nicky NotKatt out of a construction elevator to look at the view from his nowhere near finished "two-point-five-million"-dollar penthouse. It's still light outside, and they've already been drinking. Man, I put in longer hours at work and I don't even do anything. Rickman talks numbers and says that the apartment is "doable" and that it was Joanne's idea. I guess Rickman's wife is named Joanne. I wonder if we're ever going to see her, or if she's like Norm's Vera. Actually, it would be good if a lot of this cast could be like Norm's Vera. "What can I tell you, buddy. I am the bomb," smarms Rickman Nicky NotKatt reveals that the rent is "twenty-three thousand dollars a month." Uh...thanks for--

Ah. We cut to the bar where Eyebrows is saying that she makes twenty-three-thousand dollars a year. (Someone call the Pseudo-Clever Transition police. We've got a code blue violation on the Fox lot, stat!) "I eat of lot of peanut butter," says Eyebrows. Dude, you can't live in central fucking India for twenty-three-thousand dollars a year, let alone Manhattan. Something's rotten around here, and it ain't just the script, the timeslot, and Tom Everett Scott's acting. She goes on to say that she loves to hear traders talk, and begins to say things she overheard them talking about, including "Hoffmeister?" she asks. Tee-hee, I'm just a stupid-ol' teacher, I don't know these "stocks" you speak of but it makes my toes curl. TES helpfully explains to this cute, drunk, and so innocent "teacher" who Hoffmeister is and what firm he's from and what job he's trying to get at Balmont-Stevens. TES, the old smoothy, slides his fingers along Eyebrows' arm as he talks. They both stop, claiming to be unable to remember what they were just talking about, it's just that fucken electric between them. TES makes the male Fox audience weep when he blahs, "Um, you know what? I think you should know that I'm kinda coming down from a relationship and I really, I'm in this waiting period and I really shouldn't get involved." Cut to...

Roof. They make out. (Pseudo-Clever Transition police. Violation #2 on Fox lot -- what the hell's taking you so long?) He asks her name, and she says it's "Bridget." I'm tempted to call the Writers Guild and make them dock the writers a week's residuals for lack of creativity, when I realize they might have done it so Bridgette Wilson-Sampras could remember he character's name. TES says, "It's nice to meet you, Bridget." She reaches for his fly. "It's nice to meet...you." Zip! Gag. (Me, not her, I'm sure.)

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The Street

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