The Street
Hostile Makeover

Episode Report Card
Stee: B- | Grade It Now!
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Chicken Little. Ratings Even Less.

Previously on The $treet: Bathroom. Eyebrows told the still pee-dripping Alex that she made out with TES. Alex gave TES his ring back. Donna told Nicky NotKatt that she was under investigation for making restricted trades; Giancarlo warned Nicky to stay away from her. The Rocke-who got up in Rickman's face as the ever-creepy Giancarlo watched amusedly; The Rocke-who told him that he was just afraid of his little boys' club ending. "I am so gunning for you, honey," Rickman replied. Oh, I just saw a two-page ad for the show in a magazine where they're trying to give away cell phones to get people to watch the show. And six cast members are pictured, but not Rickman. That says many very sad things about many people.

Gym. Nicky NotKatt and Rickman ride exercise bikes. Rickman thinks that they should trade people on the market. He says that his "first human IPO" is gonna be Prince William: "Instead of cash flow, we're going to have to measure chick flow." As long as you don't measure good first scenes on The $treet. Nicky complains that he has it tough being "a working stiff from Queens." Rickman tells him that he's in the performing business and that if he was a chick he'd date him. "That might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me," says Nicky NotKatt. Rickman goes on to list Nicky's good points, which for me would have been a very short list indeed. Rickman stops mid-sentence, probably because he ran out of things to say, and is distracted by a woman working out in boxing gear, with a protective helmet. "If I was single," he says, "I would hound her like a crazed jackal. Look at her, it's all that anger. I love it." He says that she's surely a "freak-toy" in bed and that he would do "very very bad things to her." As he begins to list the things he would do to her, she takes off her headgear to reveal: The Rocke-who! Mid-list Rickman says, "and then...I would shoot myself." Credits. And as I watch the credits, I start to remember all the other credit sequences from short-lived television shows I watched and can see how this will fit in very clearly in my mind like D.C., and Wonderland...and Manimal. (Disclaimer #7: Okay. I kinda like this show. It's sleazy and quick and sorta hip. My big problems: the miscasting and the so-far uninteresting financial stories. This show could make it, I'm sure. It just needs...something. And really, if you're looking for a casting hook: Jennie Garth and Molly Ringwald for five lines isn't going to do it. The Kids Don't Care. Like ODB, you have to be for the children...)

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The Street

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