The Rocke-who stands up on a "stage" and presents the Trainee class of 2000. "Hear hear," says Giancarlo, pretending he's in some nineteenth-century Parliamentary debate, rather than an investment bank in the year 2000. The Trainees line up, all dressed as drag Santas, and begin singing a version of The Beatles' "Money," with the lyrics changed to being about Rickman having a small penis and ball cancer. Seriously. The lyrics include "Tiny woodpecker" and "Lumpy kumquats." Rickman smiles eventually.
Forbidden sex room. Goldberg clears off the couch for Leelee. As he goes to touch her, she stops him, then removes her headdress. The Music of Eighteen Minutes Left To Go plays as we dissolve to a commercial for Castaway. Fitting title, considering that's what's being done to The $treet.
Forbidden sex room. Leelee turns out to be that Seven-Eleven worker chick from SubUrbia. They kiss. Goldberg stutters and asks: why him. She says it's because of his beard. She is very aggressive, pushes him down, and tells him that the beard makes him look like her brother. Blah ha ha.
Trading room/bar. Jennie Garth is bored as Nicky gets her some champagne. SantaDrag Timmy grabs a drink and pulls Jennie away. He asks her if she's sure this is a good idea. She tells him that he has a sexy ass and walks away. Dude, what's with all the incest? Did Angelina Jolie and her brother script this episode or something? Rickman asks TES what he'll do if he actually has cancer. TES doesn't know. TES doesn't know anything.
Forbidden sex room. They're done, I guess, and Leelee says that she should go find her father. She gets dressed, and tells him that she should go alone. They kiss through her veil as she thanks him and leaves.
Hallway. Goldberg sees Father and Leelee. Father says that they'll be seeing a lot of each other since he's going to oversee Father's investments. Father adds, "One thing I must tell you. You touch her, I will kill you." They laugh nervously. "I'm kidding..." he adds. "Not." Ooh, busting out the Wayne's World references. That's some hip sampling, writing crew.
Alex brings The Rocke-who a drink and they talk about their Christmas plans. The Rocke-who is going to a cabin with her parents...where she'll do everything but hang out with them. Alex asks her if God invented men, why they are so dense. She talks about TES suggesting she go on her honeymoon, and Eyebrows busts in and says that she should indeed go on the honeymoon. She starts talking about a certain cabana boy in the Caymans that will help her forget TES. She gets sensitive, talking about how she knows a break-up is hard, but depression disappears at the beach. Ooh, Eyebrows angling for the invite. Them together at the beach...Man, I knew I should have become a cabana boy like I wanted to. Stupid school counselor.