The housemates close the show with a song entitled "Be Yourself," set to the tune of "Polly Wolly Doodle." The funniest lines go to Tammy Faye, who sings about her ex-husband ripping off The PTL Club, and Ron and Ice, who admit they're only known for one thing each: penis and lack of talent, respectively. Some of the kids are grilled for sound bites after the show. One little girl says it's Traci Bingham's best acting ever, which isn't saying a whole helluva lot. Another little kid is shocked that the guy's name is Vanilla Ice and vows to go call him Vanilla Ice Cream to his face. That's not a smart move, Four Eyes. Ice will beat your ass with a tree limb if you try that shit. One older boy admits he liked Trishelle best, and then looks like he's about to light up a cigarette. Trishelle's backstage, bitching to Ron that all the little boys are horn dogs, that kids annoy her in general, and that she's still hung over, so she's going back inside to drink some more wine. She's a snippy little diva, that Trishelle. Ron stays backstage, because he figures the parents are already having triple bypass cardiac arrest just seeing him there. Eventually, he saunters out to meet the kids, and the kids end up loving him and standing in line to pet his turtle. His real turtle, pervs. Everyone's giving Ron props for pulling it all together and making the show a rousing success. Up in their bedroom, Trishelle and Traci still have the "Be Yourself" song stuck in their heads, but plan on drinking heavily to get rid of it. Ice spraypaints "Be Yourself" on his collage in the den, and finally seems to be happy. For once, it warms my heart to watch him deface someone else's mansion so gleefully.
Next week, tons of nudity as Ron has a "clothing optional" barbecue in the back yard with several of his friends from the porno industry, along with Andy Dick, who takes advantage of a sweet young Trishelle, making out with her in her bed. You have to give Trishelle credit: she's gone without the wee-wee for three days, and that's a long time for a drunken nympho. But still...Andy Dick?!