The Surreal Times hits the front door and announces that the celebrities are going shopping. Each of the housemates will be given $50 to buy each other going-away gifts. Ice is scribbling numbers on a piece of paper, trying to figure out how much heroin he can buy for $50. They hop in the van and are shuttled to Melrose Avenue, where they visit several shops and boutiques. Erik tries on a wig for laughs, getting a grand total of none. Ron announces that he hates shopping. He says he'd rather be reading or watching TV or enjoying a threesome with a couple of blind Filipino runaway teens with butt acne. He's whining and cringing the entire time. The shopping excursion doesn't last long, which is a relief for me, since I hate shopping as much as Ron does. And I hate watching D-list celebrities shopping on television even more than I hate actual shopping.