Back at the house, Ron's got twenty houseguests at his BBQ. Somebody asks him if he put extra chlorine in the pool, which question he doesn't answer. But it most definitely would have been one of the wisest decisions he could have made. The dumpy whore from the Bunny Ranch is showing off her bathing suit, which makes me cringe. I'd rather sit front-row center at a lingerie show featuring my mother than see this woman's skimpy bathing suit. And believe me, folks, my mom has seen better days in ye olde booty department. Ron's slurping all over a couple of girls as he channels Trishelle at a frat party.
The roommates come home, taking Ron off-guard, like he thought they were never coming back or something. Ron puts on his shirt and folds his arms over his chest while he talks to Traci and Trishelle. He looks like a kid that was just busted by his parents for having a porno magazine under his bed. Traci asks if Ron has cooked the chicken yet, and he says that he choked the chicken. Traci doesn't get the joke, which shouldn't surprise anyone. Traci introduces herself to a porn star named America; Traci says that they could jump rope with her hair. The hair on her scalp, mind you. I guess I need to clarify that when we're talking about a porno pool party. Tammy Faye stops by and is glad that they're all fully clothed. She hugs Ron, and he kisses her, to the shock of everyone at the party. Erik hugs Ron and tells the women in attendance that he taught Ron everything he knows. Ron admits that's the truth, but the ladies still aren't lining up for the Latino heartthrob. Tammy Faye signs a book for the Bunny Ranch guy, which I would describe as "surreal," but I'll just refer you to the name of the show instead. One guy hugs Tammy Faye and asks if she's single, and she giggles that she isn't. We then see Tammy Faye braiding America's hair. The porn star, not the country. And the hair on her head. Tammy Faye says that she doesn't prejudge people, and that you should get to know them before you decide to pass judgment against them. That's sweet. You know, for a weeping psychotic. Tammy Faye admits that Ron's friends are great.
Traci announces that she wants everyone to get naked, in yet another thinly veiled attempt to check out Ron's love gun. Tammy Faye's upset because the party has become clothing-optional. The first one to get naked is the dumpy slut, who sits all by herself in a small pool while everyone averts their eyes. One of the girls can't believe that Ron Jeremy's going without sex for the twelve days he's spending in the Surreal Mansion. Maybe she hasn't met Traci or Trishelle yet. That's my guess, anyway. Ice notes that Ron got crazy stuff going on, with naked chicks everywhere. Tammy Faye excuses herself from this Sodom and Gomorrah shindig and goes to her room. A woman offers Erik a dazzling hummer (not the vehicle), and he politely declines, citing those goshdarned wedding vows. Ice asks if everyone at the party has had sex with Ron. Nobody answers, so he takes that as a "yes." Tammy Faye's upstairs reading her Bible, and says that she can hear what's going on out there. She doesn't mind them all being there, but feels that they shouldn't be fornicating like spastic bunnies in the pool. I agree with her. Nobody wants to go for a quick couple of laps in a pool that's cloudy with sex juice.













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