Now it's time to play How To Lose a Playmate in Five Easy Steps. Rick says (1) He likes his parents. Brande nods in dazed agreement. (2) He asks her favorite color and then answers the question himself with "Blue." "Electric blue," she corrects him. (3) He tells her that he loves the song playing, which we can't hear at home. And in her defense, Brande half-assedly says, "Me too." (4) He announces that his wisdom teeth are coming in. Brande jumps on this line like a drowning passenger on a life preserver in the sea of lousy conversation. "Mine did that years ago!" she chirps as the conversation ends abruptly right there and heads back into uncomfortable silence. (5) Rick says, "Sooo, you're a Gemini? My sister's a Gemini!" (Brande: "Somebody shoot me.") Dude, if you're talking astrological signs on your first date, you are so 1973 it's not funny. I seriously think the producers had to have fed him that line or something. Nobody discusses astrological signs anymore unless they're on a blind date with a fortune-teller. Big letters pop up saying, "You've done it! You've lost your Playmate!"
Gabby and Jerri bring Rick and Brande some towels and offer them a dip in the hot tub. Rick's cartoon tongue starts waggling. (Brande: "I'd rather give Corey a sponge bath." Keepin' with the Corey hate.) Brande asks, "What other options are there?" which really has to suck if, for a fleeting moment, you were a guy who just thought you'd be sitting in a hot tub with a Playboy Playmate. Brande walks Rick to the front door; he has a cartoon note pinned on the back of his shirt that reads, "Shouldn't have worn the hat." They hug at the door, and Rick leans down and kisses Mercedes on the mouth. That must have been some kick-ass wine if the dude's making out with the dog at the end of the night. He stands up and kisses Brande, taking her by surprise. She may love her dog and all, but she's witnessed it eating cat shit, and she doesn't want to kiss the mouth that kissed ol' Cat Shit Mouth three seconds earlier. (Brande: "Gross! He kissed my lips!") Rick gets a big "Date Over" stamp across him as he leaves the premises. Thank God. Now I know why we don't recap comedies on this site: it's too hard to snark on snark.