Surreal Life
Brande Needs A Man

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Brande Needs A Man

In one of the office buildings, Manny approaches a female secretary who gets all giggly. Obviously, she's nervous that there's a tubby little dwarf next to her desk, because he has apparently asked her to go out with Brande off-camera. Judging from everything he's said on this show so far, I'm beginning to think Manny's confusion over women stems from his vice-presidency in the He-Man Woman Hater's Club that met every Friday night at Michael Jackson's house when he was a wee lad. Meanwhile, Hammer's barging into some guy's office, telling him that he can set the guy up with a real live honest-to-gosh Playboy Playmate. The guy's fairly impressed and thinks about it before showing Hammer his wedding band. I'm glad my wife and I have the agreement that if ever an ex-rapper and a midget burst into my office at work and offer me a hook-up with a Playboy model, I'm allowed to shirk all my wedding vows.

Jerri and Gabby have found a guy in a gym. Jerri's first question for him is, "Are you gay?" That's about as classy an ice-breaker as "You gonna sign this pre-nup, 'ho bag?" The guy asks Jerri if she thinks he looks gay, and she doesn't answer. My honest opinion: his eyelashes may be a bit thick for a straight guy, but nobody on the screen really pays attention to me anymore. Corey's walking into a guy's office, and asks him if he likes Playboy. The guy says it's a passable magazine, but that his personal preference is Big White Pubic Lice Monthly. So he passes on Corey's offer. Corey then finds some guy on the street who agrees to come up to the House of Surreal and woo Brande. Meanwhile, Hammer's found a Taye Diggs lookalike who agrees to come play as well. Gabby and Jerri's straight gym guy is an investment banker, and they both squeal with delight, thinking that they have a front-runner in the process.

The castmates all meet in front of the building and as they talk about their prospects. Corey announces that he has to go to the bathroom really bad. He ducks back into the building while everyone stands around looking bored. I doubt they could have gotten the rights to it, but they really should have played the theme to Jeopardy! at this point. They eventually get in the van to wait for Corey. Gabby says that Corey's beginning to get a reputation amongst the other cast members, but doesn't go into detail about it. For a split second, I think the reputation concerns his sexual abilities. Then I laugh out loud and realize that she's referring to his assholiness.

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Surreal Life

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