Commercials. I know there's a place in Hell reserved for me because I actually find the commercials for the new movie Just Married funny. I just lost 10 IQ points for even admitting that.

The next morning, we see Corey sleeping with a leopard-print sleep mask draped across his bloodshot eyes. Hammer's still in bed and saying good morning to Webster. He tells Webster that he's been up since 5 AM; there was someone in the bathroom at that hour, and they're still in there now. Webster asks Hammer how he took care of his business, and Hammer tells him that he did like a bear and ventured out into the woods. Webster cackles while the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up. I simply cannot fathom that elf getting out of this house without so much as a bruised temple after they're all subjected to that cackle for ten straight days.

Brande goes outside to get the morning Surreal Life paper, which is some weird device for the producers to start problems among the cast. Today's headline has Brande telling Jerri, "You're no Robin Givens," accompanied by a cover photo of Jerri looking like she just accidentally sat on a naked Webster. Brande gulps nervously as she takes the newspaper and some mysterious flowers to the back yard, where everyone is enjoying the morning and pretending that they're all still millionaires. Brande hands Corey the flowers and then holds up the newspaper for all to see in a kind of "Those wacky producers are putting words in my mouth!" sort of way. Corey mentions in a voice-over that they're all actors and musicians, and then there's Jerri, and she just doesn't fit in with them. ["I didn't realize that showing your tits in a 'men's magazine' made you an artist, BRANDE. My bad." -- Wing Chun] My guess is that Jerri doesn't fit in because she's not suffering from delusions of grandeur like Brande, Hammer, and Corey are. Jerri seems to recognize her position in the pop-culture ladder and accepts it, rather than walking around like she's still newsworthy. You've got to give the gal credit: she is swallowing an awful lot of shit from these has-beens at a rapid pace, and still being more gracious than anybody could expect her to be.