Surreal Life

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: C- | 406 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
New Friends

Gabby finds several pans full of fresh brownies, and Vince knocks over Webster in a frantic romp in order to wrap his chunky little rock-star hands around them. No, not really. He shows restraint because of all the cameras in the house. But you can just tell he wants to dive headfirst into their sweet chocolatey goodness. Gabby says that they need to go deliver these brownies to their new neighbors, which isn't exactly how it works. When you're the new neighbor, the old neighbors are supposed to bring YOU the brownies. Alas, the show would get real boring real quick if we had to sit and watch the cast while they waited for somebody -- ANYBODY -- to bring their has-been asses some brownies. So we see the group of them as they walk down the street. Corey's dressed in his coolest leather duds in order to impress Vince while Webster's dressed in a priest's frock to try to impress Hammer. Vince suggests that they just yell, "Here's your fucking brownies!" and throw them at their new neighbors. Everyone laughs, which prompts Corey to add his own spin on the same joke and get some pity laughs and win acceptance from the group. He says they should kick their doors down and THEN say, "Here's your brownies!" Everyone kind of makes the same soft groaning sound that they did when Vince was talking about his daughter to let know Corey know that he's a pitiful loser.

The first house that they arrive at is owned by a German couple. Gabby tries to explain that they're the new neighbors down the street and they wanted to deliver these brownies. The woman is bewildered and doesn't really know what to say because, as I've already pointed out, these numbnuts have already disrupted the whole new neighbor/brownie theory that I presented earlier. She accepts the brownies, but you can tell she didn't want to. After all, if Vince Neil showed up at your doorstep offering you brownies, do you really think you'd eat one without having a lab technician perform a multitude of tests on them first? While the awkward moment drags out, Mercedes the dog gets her cue and rushes in to Frau Blucher's home to find something to urinate on. The German lady is understandably disturbed as a Playboy Playmate scoots past her to retrieve her dog. Now I know why they call this The Surreal Life, although the actual act wasn't nearly as surreal as it sounds.

At the next house, it's Corey's turn to do all the talking. He's practicing in his best New Yawk accent, trying to sound like a real tough guy handing out brownies. The guy answers the door, and Corey drops the accent and introduces himself and his friends as the guy's new neighbors. The sound-effects guy adds a "gulp" sound as we get a close-up of the neighbor. That's the only time I snickered in the entire hour, and is a fine example of what I originally imagined this show would be like -- lotsa snarky sound effects and stupid moments like neighbors gulping nervously when they're confronted by this strange bunch. Sadly, I get the feeling that the producers are trying to make this show a serious effort. Because if they're trying to mine comedy out of these situations, they're failing miserably. I mean, seriously -- Brian's Song had more laughs packed in it than this shit does.

Surreal Life

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