Corey runs out to make his big announcement. He's beaming from ear to ear and nervously clapping his hands and shifting from foot to foot. He makes the big announcement that he's marrying Susie and the marriage will be included on the last episode of the show. The rest of the cast members are non-fazed. He may as well have walked in and announced that he just had a very successful and encouraging bowel movement. Webster walks in, and Corey asks him what he thinks. Webster has no idea what he's talking about since he's coming back from a very successful and encouraging bowel movement. Corey tells him the good news. Webster just stares at him. Even Webster realizes that Corey is one sad, pathetic creature. And that's how the premiere episode ends -- not with a bang but a whimper.
In the upcoming weeks, the cast will go camping, go to Vegas, try to find a date for Brande, go to church (which Vince says "changes" him; I guess that means no more shouting at the devil for Vinnie). Hugh Hefner stops by for sweeps month, and Corey breaks down, gets mad at Susie over the phone, and cries. This guy's got the emotional stability of Mariah Carey after a few hours of sleep. And then, of course, there's the slim chance that Robin Givens may eventually show up which would undoubtedly cause Brande to steal Webster's cackle for a few minutes.
My thoughts on the first show are disappointing. It's not nearly as funny as the premise would lead you to believe it was going to be. Vince and Jerri are both laid-back and cool. Hammer's somewhat cool. Webster's a cackling jackass who idolizes Hammer. Gabby is just there, trying desperately not to mommy everyone. Brande's the resident shit-for-brains. And Corey is more entertaining here than in any movie I've ever seen him in. It's surely just a matter of time before he's either committed or bitch-slapped silly by Webster. My money and prayers are on the latter.