Surreal Life

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: B- | 1089 USERS: B-
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Naked Ambition

Since they all have a buzz on, they decide to continue the party back at the resort. Traci and Trishelle are stumbling drunks as the camera follows them down the walkway, relying on each other to walk. Trishelle thinks that a hot tub and wine sounds good right about now. They go upstairs to change, but Traci forgets what she's doing and climbs into bed, where Ron massages her legs. Trishelle walks in with her bathing suit on, and Ron remarks that he doesn't think she'll be allowed to wear that in the jacuzzi. She says that he's a porn star and she's not, which seems to hurt his feelings a bit. Like he didn't know he was a porn star. What up wi' dat? Downstairs, Erik and Ice are pretending to be pooping on the kitchen floor, for some reason. I guess just to let people know they haven't stumbled across 7th Heaven by mistake. Someone off-camera says that Vince Neil pissed on the floor in there, which cracks them up. Back upstairs, Traci asks Ron if he has any sexually transmitted diseases; he says he doesn't, and that he has a very healthy penis. That's a total slam against Vince Neil, who apparently can't control his bladder due to his diseased totem pole. It must be true, since I read it in The Star.

Back downstairs, Ice is trashing the room in true rock-star mode, while the girls and Ron are upstairs trying to disrobe each other. Trishelle rips Ron's towel away from him, right before she goes tumbling ass over elbows onto the floor. Downstairs, Trishelle lets Ron know in front of the cameras that she is who she has portrayed herself to be throughout this show, while Ron is trying to hide something from the cameras. She says that all of her friends watching the show know what a lush she is, and that she's the same girl on the show as the girl who whose hair they have to hold back as she vomits in a guy's Trans Am. She's real, while Ron's more fake than Traci's boobs. It's basically just one of those drunken tirades a semi-hot chick will launch into that you only put up with because there's a slim chance you'll get to see her naked afterward. Erik kicks them all out of the apartment and points them in the direction of the jacuzzi, because he's old and wants to "chill out." Which must be Spanish for "masturbate." Trishelle calls Ron an alcoholic because he's bringing the wine with them. Ron is horribly offended that someone like Trishelle called him an alcoholic, and threatens to kill himself right there.

Surreal Life

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