Surreal Life
Nude Resort

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: C+ | Grade It Now!
Naked Ambition

Back downstairs, Ice is trashing the room in true rock-star mode, while the girls and Ron are upstairs trying to disrobe each other. Trishelle rips Ron's towel away from him, right before she goes tumbling ass over elbows onto the floor. Downstairs, Trishelle lets Ron know in front of the cameras that she is who she has portrayed herself to be throughout this show, while Ron is trying to hide something from the cameras. She says that all of her friends watching the show know what a lush she is, and that she's the same girl on the show as the girl who whose hair they have to hold back as she vomits in a guy's Trans Am. She's real, while Ron's more fake than Traci's boobs. It's basically just one of those drunken tirades a semi-hot chick will launch into that you only put up with because there's a slim chance you'll get to see her naked afterward. Erik kicks them all out of the apartment and points them in the direction of the jacuzzi, because he's old and wants to "chill out." Which must be Spanish for "masturbate." Trishelle calls Ron an alcoholic because he's bringing the wine with them. Ron is horribly offended that someone like Trishelle called him an alcoholic, and threatens to kill himself right there.

They get to the jacuzzi, and a sign says that they must go nude in it. Trishelle removes her bikini underwater, and Ron takes off his clothes and gets in and starts kissing the neck of a woman in the tub. Trishelle says there's no way she'd let a naked Ron Jeremy kiss her. However, the reverse psychology is lost on Ron, and he doesn't kiss her. Traci decides in her infinite wisdom to go bottomless in the hot tub. She won't show the teeny areolas, but she'll toss the cooch around like a burning poker chip. Traci says that Ron's attractive in a weird, freaky way, and that you almost forget he's a big hairy porn thing. To prove this, she cuddles up against him in the hot tub and sits her naked butt on his naked lap. The sad thing is, she's making the nudists uncomfortable. Traci then excuses herself from the jacuzzi, saying she has to make a phone call and will be right back. After a while, Ron goes to check on her, and she's asleep in the bed. Meanwhile, Trishelle's entertaining six guys down in the jacuzzi, if you get my drift, with her favorite magic trick, "The Disappearing Penis." Ron tries to give Traci a shoulder rub, and she tells him to leave her alone. So Ron goes to get Trishelle out of the hot tub and escort her back to the apartment. She calls him an asshole as he wraps a towel around her, and accuses him of trying to cop a feel. He just moans, "Oh man," as the show fades out.

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Surreal Life




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