Surreal Life
Nude Resort

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Naked Ambition

Back from commercial, we find out that neither Traci or Trishelle is budging in removing their tops. The nudists start sprinting ahead in points, and the Surreal Team is reminded once again that they can get points if they get naked. Trishelle doesn't understand why Ron won't just get naked, because everyone in the world has seen Ron's penis. With the exception of Tammy Faye. But she wants to. Oh man, does she ever want to. However, Ron doesn't want to get nude yet, because he sees his eventual nudity as a bargaining chip he could use later in the game. It must be nice to have a penis that can double as a deal negotiator. He also does not want to be known as the only Surreal Lifer getting nude. The nudists eventually win the grueling contest, leaving Traci to utter those famous words: "I guess there's something to be said about nude people." It's just a shame she didn't say whatever it is that needs to be said. So, having lost the contest, they all have to eat dinner naked. Vince and Lia leave, since Lia is beginning to melt after being in the sunshine for several hours.

While Ron and Traci get ready for dinner, Trishelle admits that she's very horny after staring at peckers all day, and needs to get a boyfriend. Traci asks Ron if he likes big areolas or small ones, and he says he likes the big ones. She says she has small areolas. I could swear she says that she calls her nipples "Oreos." Let's put it this way; it wouldn't shock me if she did. Traci asks Ice what he calls his pecker, and he says it's his "big bad yogurt slinger." I'll bet you cash money the guy's hung like a hamster. Ron reminds Traci once again that if she removes her top, he'll whip out his moneymaker. Just then John, Traci's fiancé, calls. Ron tells John all the hot gossip about Traci's threat to get nude in front of everyone. Traci gets on the phone and promises the poor sucker...I mean "her fiancé" that she won't get naked, while Ron hugs her. We're then treated to a montage of moments when Traci bragged about wanting to get naked in past episodes, and how she's comfortable in her skin and loves flashing. We then see a halo above her head in a sarcastic post-production slam against her. Ron asks Traci if she's wearing underwear, and she says she's not. So he keeps dropping a towel on the floor to sneak a peek between her legs. At dinner, Traci makes a joke about how they'll be eating Ron's salami for dinner. Erik orders piña coladas for everyone, and they all start drinking. Trishelle orders several bottles of wine for herself, which makes her feel frisky. Ron reiterates that if any of the other cast members get naked, he will too. Trishelle decides that she's young and doesn't have to answer to anyone, so she will get naked. Meanwhile, millions of thirteen-year-old boys start paging each other nationwide to turn on The WB immediately.

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Surreal Life

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